expectations

Mark, Russ and Aaron discuss the Recovery Topic Expectations

High expectation are premeditated resentments while low expectations are premeditated disappointments.
This topic was suggested by listener Liz from Louisiana.  Thanks Liz.

Tonight, the following people were interviewed:

John
Tammy

Liz, who has less than one year of sobriety and is working on her 4th step, and is finding that she is trying to figure out what is a reasonable expectation.

Russ applauded Liz regarding her ability to have introspection and discover that expectations are a problem.  Russ suggested that the third step prayer as shown in the Big Book be done before the 4th step is attempted. Russ shared that he had lots of expectations early in his sobriety which resulted in frustration.

Aaron also related with similar feelings regarding expectations early in sobriety.  Aaron remembered that he was warned to watch expectations because they lead to resentments.

Russ and Aaron used the fellowship, the sponsor, and steps 2, 4, 5, and especially 10 to deal with expectations and to try to determine reasonable expectations.  Unreasonably high expectations is like going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread.  We need to figure out what our loved ones are able to do and resist the temptation to expect more than they are able.  If I need recovery support and encouragement, I need to go to people who are able to give it.