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Mark S

Bill W at Fort Worth – Recovered 931

150 150 Mark S

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Unity – Recovered 933

150 150 Mark S

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The Twelve Traditions are the principles that keep 12-step support groups focused on their primary task of fellowship. The Twelve Traditions serve as the framework by which the internal operations of all 12-step programs operate.

As the Twelve Steps lay the spiritual path of recovery for individual members, the Twelve Traditions provide the principles that keep the group healthy and grounded. This is best exemplified by Tradition One which states:

“Our common welfare should come first; personal progress depends upon AA unity.”

The underlying principle is simple: if the group is drawn into controversy or becomes dominated by individuals, the unity of the group will be jeopardized.
The aim of Tradition One is to ensure cohesion while honoring all voices in an open dialogue.

First thoughts?

What does unity mean to you?

Unity Definition: joined as a whole.

What is it that provides the “cohesion” that keeps your groups “joined?”
Common experience of alcoholism?
Caring for others?
Commitment?

12 and 12 suggests that conformity to the AA principles is the key to unity.
But what principles?
12 & 12 says faith and good works.
Other Principles:
Honesty
Hope
Faith
Courage
Integrity
Willingness
Humility
Brotherly Love
Discipline
Perseverance
Spirituality and Service

12 & 12 says that Unity is the most cherished quality our society has.
Do you see this attitude in your home group?
How?

How can we cherish unity and not pay attention to the individual?

12 & 12 says most individual cannot recovery without the group.
What is your reaction to this?

How do you help with unity in your group?

How do you handle it when you are in the minority opinion?

How is unity expressed in your meetings?
How is unity expressed in your group conscience meetings?
Can you have unity at a meeting if that meeting does not have group conscience meetings?

How does diverse opinions help unity in a group?
What are the dangers to a group if the is sameness of opinion?
How can conflict resolution help unity in a group?
What can you do if you strongly disagree with the direction of a group which is being legitimately lead by group conscience?

How can you practice tradition 1 in your life?
How can you practice tradition 1 in your work life?
How can you practice tradition 1 in your family?

Check out this episode!

Bill W and the Traditions – Recovered 930

150 150 Mark S

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Willingness – Recovered 932

150 150 Mark S

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If there’s one thing that I know for certain, it is that when I finally became willing to turn myself over to the program, my entire life changed. When the people in the rooms say that all we need is honesty, open mindedness, and willingness, they aren’t kidding. I personally felt that I actually just needed willingness because that willingness is what lead to open-mindedness, and eventually lead to honesty.

Willingness can be defined as being eagerly compliant. For me, Willingness means embracing change rather than fighting it.

It is not possible for people to find success in recovery unless they are willing to put in the necessary effort. In order for recovery to take hold, there needs to be a powerful driving force supporting it. This power is provided by the willingness to change.

First to mind?

Willingness seems to be the beginning to recovery

Read big book and as bill sees it

How willing were you the first time you came into AA?
Why or why not?
Is there a relationship between willingness and desperation?
The expression, “the gift of desperation”, what does that mean?

Have you ever tried to get clean for someone else?
How did that work?

Did you ever experience the desire to get clean and have a desire to keep using at the same time?

What about expectations and willingness? Is there a relationship?
What is the problem with too high of expectation?
How about too low of expectation?

What were your expectations of AA?

How can a pink cloud be dangerous?
Is a pink cloud a bad thing?

What about the steps and willingness?
What slogan speaks to you about willingness?
What prayer helps with willingness?
What tradition helps your willingness?

WE HAVE CALLS

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Codependency – Recovered 929

150 150 Mark S

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Codependency affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. This is a disorder.

The disorder was first identified as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Codependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.

If you put your loved one’s needs ahead of your own?
If you feel that others’ happiness is your responsibility?
Then you’ve come to the right place, because today,
we’re going to talk about codependency.

Wikipedia says “Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”

First thoughts?
What is codependency to you?
How does it manifest in your life?

There is an expression that when someone suffers from addiction, their whole family is sick.

How did your addiction make your family sick?
What types of codependent behaviors did you observe?
How did your recovery affect the way them?

You know many alcoholics, what codependent behaviors do you have?

Let’s start with Sponsees?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

How about your Home group?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

How about your alano club?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

Have you had a family member who is an alcoholic?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

As it relates to codependency,
how are your powerless over alcohol?
How can a higher power help?
How can an inventory help?
How can making amends help?

WE HAVE CALLS

Check out this episode!

Gary P – Recovered 928

150 150 Mark S

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Gary B – Recovered 927

150 150 Mark S

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Service Work – Recovered 926

150 150 Mark S

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One of the famous sayings used by Twelve Step groups is that,
you have to give it away in order to keep it.
What this is referring to is
the idea that service in recovery can help
the giver as much as the receiver.

This giving should not be done
in the hope of a reward or praise.

Instead the individual does it
because they know that it is helping to keep
them clean and sober too.

Numerous studies have provided evidence that
helping others in recovery provides great benefit to
the helper.

Service in recovery refers to
work carried out for no financial reward or compensation.
This may involve directly helping somebody else, or
indirectly helping them by providing services.

Let’s talk about our experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Service Work.

Let’s go to you first Chrissy

What comes first to mind about service work and your recovery

What does service work mean to you?
How has it helped your program?
What kinds of service have you done?

Has your sponsor ever volunteered you for something?
Have you ever suggested service for your sponsee?

Why do you think service work helps you feel better?
What is the most unique service you ever did?

What are you doing now?

How has your understanding of service work changed since you were new?

What service work do you want to do?

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Mike from FLA
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Setting Boundaries – Recovered 925

150 150 Mark S

This is an edited version of the episode.

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Your issues with boundaries come from your past. You may have grown up where boundaries were strict and harsh. This could lead to an inability to express your feelings or to keep everyone at arm’s length. Having no boundaries will lead to you and others being enmeshed. When this happens, your roles are interchangeable and blurred and you will not establish your sense of identity. As you get older, your relationships mirror those of the past and history begins to repeat itself. As you fall into the same patterns, you increase your risk of experiencing depression or anxiety and may fall into drugs and alcohol to help cope.

Establishing boundaries in your life is important, especially in recovery. By setting boundaries, you no longer allow others to take advantage of you and you begin to find your voice and learn how to use it. Your communication with others improves as you express your thoughts and feelings. Healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships with people who have your best interests in mind, support and respect you and are willing to work with you. An added benefit is that you begin to establish your sense of self.

This topic is much more popular in al-anon than in AA.
Woulds you agree?
When was the last time you had the topic of boundaries at your table?
Why do you think the topic of boundaries is more popular in al-anon?
Because we are the ones typically crossing the boundaries.

First thought?

What are boundaries?

What Are Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries?
How do you Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries ?

For you, what are some unhealthy boundaries you have developed before program?

Here are some possible examples

Telling someone else how to think or feel
Sacrificing your personal values and beliefs to please someone else
Forcing your advice or beliefs on others and pressuring them to follow your advice or think the same
Allowing someone else to define you and dictate your actions
Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings

For you what are healthy boundaries you have developed in recovery and why?

Here are some examples
Encouraging sharing feelings and thoughts
Honoring your personal values and beliefs even if others may not agree with them
Respecting others
Taking responsibility for all that you do or say
Taking full ownership and responsibility in defining yourself

Today, when are you most vulnerable and allow unhealthy boundaries/
How can the program help?
Steps
Sponsor
Sponsee
Service work
Meetings
Prayer

What are some boundaries you don’t want crossed?
How do you communicate these boundaries?
What do you do when they are crossed?

Have you ever crossed someone else’s boundary?

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Mary P Al-Anon Open Talk – Recovered 924

150 150 Mark S

Our Premium Members are the reason why the Recovered Podcast is still online.  Please consider upgrading today.

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