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Mark S

Codependency – Recovered 929

150 150 Mark S

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Codependency affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. This is a disorder.

The disorder was first identified as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Codependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.

If you put your loved one’s needs ahead of your own?
If you feel that others’ happiness is your responsibility?
Then you’ve come to the right place, because today,
we’re going to talk about codependency.

Wikipedia says “Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”

First thoughts?
What is codependency to you?
How does it manifest in your life?

There is an expression that when someone suffers from addiction, their whole family is sick.

How did your addiction make your family sick?
What types of codependent behaviors did you observe?
How did your recovery affect the way them?

You know many alcoholics, what codependent behaviors do you have?

Let’s start with Sponsees?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

How about your Home group?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

How about your alano club?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

Have you had a family member who is an alcoholic?
Have you ever worried about them?
Have you ever felt responsible for them?
Have you ever felt you could cure/change/control them?

As it relates to codependency,
how are your powerless over alcohol?
How can a higher power help?
How can an inventory help?
How can making amends help?

WE HAVE CALLS

Check out this episode!

Gary P – Recovered 928

150 150 Mark S

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Gary B – Recovered 927

150 150 Mark S

Our Premium Members are the reason why the Recovered Podcast is still online.  Please consider upgrading today.

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Service Work – Recovered 926

150 150 Mark S

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One of the famous sayings used by Twelve Step groups is that,
you have to give it away in order to keep it.
What this is referring to is
the idea that service in recovery can help
the giver as much as the receiver.

This giving should not be done
in the hope of a reward or praise.

Instead the individual does it
because they know that it is helping to keep
them clean and sober too.

Numerous studies have provided evidence that
helping others in recovery provides great benefit to
the helper.

Service in recovery refers to
work carried out for no financial reward or compensation.
This may involve directly helping somebody else, or
indirectly helping them by providing services.

Let’s talk about our experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Service Work.

Let’s go to you first Chrissy

What comes first to mind about service work and your recovery

What does service work mean to you?
How has it helped your program?
What kinds of service have you done?

Has your sponsor ever volunteered you for something?
Have you ever suggested service for your sponsee?

Why do you think service work helps you feel better?
What is the most unique service you ever did?

What are you doing now?

How has your understanding of service work changed since you were new?

What service work do you want to do?

WE HAVE CALLS

Mike from FLA
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Check out this episode!

Setting Boundaries – Recovered 925

150 150 Mark S

This is an edited version of the episode.

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Your issues with boundaries come from your past. You may have grown up where boundaries were strict and harsh. This could lead to an inability to express your feelings or to keep everyone at arm’s length. Having no boundaries will lead to you and others being enmeshed. When this happens, your roles are interchangeable and blurred and you will not establish your sense of identity. As you get older, your relationships mirror those of the past and history begins to repeat itself. As you fall into the same patterns, you increase your risk of experiencing depression or anxiety and may fall into drugs and alcohol to help cope.

Establishing boundaries in your life is important, especially in recovery. By setting boundaries, you no longer allow others to take advantage of you and you begin to find your voice and learn how to use it. Your communication with others improves as you express your thoughts and feelings. Healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships with people who have your best interests in mind, support and respect you and are willing to work with you. An added benefit is that you begin to establish your sense of self.

This topic is much more popular in al-anon than in AA.
Woulds you agree?
When was the last time you had the topic of boundaries at your table?
Why do you think the topic of boundaries is more popular in al-anon?
Because we are the ones typically crossing the boundaries.

First thought?

What are boundaries?

What Are Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries?
How do you Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries ?

For you, what are some unhealthy boundaries you have developed before program?

Here are some possible examples

Telling someone else how to think or feel
Sacrificing your personal values and beliefs to please someone else
Forcing your advice or beliefs on others and pressuring them to follow your advice or think the same
Allowing someone else to define you and dictate your actions
Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings

For you what are healthy boundaries you have developed in recovery and why?

Here are some examples
Encouraging sharing feelings and thoughts
Honoring your personal values and beliefs even if others may not agree with them
Respecting others
Taking responsibility for all that you do or say
Taking full ownership and responsibility in defining yourself

Today, when are you most vulnerable and allow unhealthy boundaries/
How can the program help?
Steps
Sponsor
Sponsee
Service work
Meetings
Prayer

What are some boundaries you don’t want crossed?
How do you communicate these boundaries?
What do you do when they are crossed?

Have you ever crossed someone else’s boundary?

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Mary P Al-Anon Open Talk – Recovered 924

150 150 Mark S

Our Premium Members are the reason why the Recovered Podcast is still online.  Please consider upgrading today.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

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Medicine Depression and Recovery – Recovered 923

150 150 Mark S

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

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Just because an individual has managed to escape from addiction does not always mean that their life will be fine thereafter. There will usually still be challenges to face, and part of this might be dealing with depression. Many people will have turned to addiction in the first place because they were suffering from depressive symptoms. This can mean that when they stop using these addictive substances they can be back to where they started, in pain and without a solution. I

t is important that anyone who is dealing with depression in recovery, please never ignore this symptom of chronic depressive feelings.

If you feel like you are battling depression, please go and see a professional. There is no shame in admitting you have depression. As a matter of fact, it is one of the principles of recovery, the principle that you are worth it. You deserve to take care of yourself for a change. Please recognize that a diagnosis of clinical depression coupled with addiction is very dangerous. The morbidity rate is very high. Just read the headlines about celebrities who have passed away who have had these serious diseases.

If it turns out that you go to a therapist and you find out that you have non-clinical depression and are experiencing normal reaction to painful life events and/or physical, mental and emotional stress and 12-step recovery is what you need, then great!! No harm, no foul. Going to therapy for a short time won’t hurt you. But, if you are working hard on your 12-step program, working the steps, staying in touch with a sponsor and a higher power, doing service work, eating right, and you just can’t shake the blues, please consider adding professional psychological help to support your recovery program

Now, let’s define Depression.
Depression is more than just feeling a bit down. It’s a medical illness that involves both mental and physical elements. Depression can impact every aspect of the individual’s life and can make normal functioning almost impossible.

Rick, let’s turn to you first,
What are your first thoughts on the opening statements?
Where do you want to start, what is it you want to say?

In recovery, do you battle depression?
What does it look look to you?
Have you seen a professional?
How was that for you?

For the new person who may think they have depression, how should someone seek professional help?
What should they expect?
What is the process like?
How long should they expect to be in therapy?

What are some of the obstacles to seeking therapy?
Stigma, within the AA community
Stigma, how it affects you reputation
Stigma, how it affects your self-esteem
Cost
Working with insurances
Time
Commitment
Fear
Availability of therapists

Check out this episode!

Chuck I Al-Anon Open Talk – Recovered 922

150 150 Mark S

These weekend episodes are typically reserved for our Premium Subscribers.  Our Premium Members are the reason why the Recovered Podcast is still online.  Please consider upgrading today.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

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What to Expect at Your First Recovery Meeting – Recovered 921

150 150 Mark S

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

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So you’ve made the decision to check out a Recovery meeting. Maybe people have been subtly (or not-so-subtly) suggesting you go, maybe you’ve heard good things about Recovery and think it might be able to help you, or maybe you’re just not sure of where else to turn. Whatever your reason, attending your first meeting can be a stressful experience. Will it be a bunch of people smoking cigarettes in a church basement, like in the movies? Will you have to get up and share your whole life story in front of strangers? After meny years of regular Recovery attendance, here’s what I can tell you: No two meetings are exactly the same. Tonight, we will talk about some of the unexpected things you ought to expect from your first Recovery meeting.

What come first to mind?
What so you want to say to the person contemplating this?
What was your first meeting like?

What can someone expect?
What should they do?
What should they not do?
What are your suggestions on how to prepare?
What should they do during the meeting?
Does it cost money?
Do you have to pray?
Do you have to share?
Do you have to sign up for anything?

Do you have to use your real name?

We Have Calls

Mike from FLA
https://www.speakpipe.com/recoveredcast

Sean

Andrew

Check out this episode!

Barbara k Open Talk – Recovered 920

150 150 Mark S

These weekend episodes are typically reserved for our Premium Subscribers.  Our Premium Members are the reason why the Recovered Podcast is still online.  Please consider upgrading today.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

  1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
  2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

Call and leave a message and become part of the show

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Check out this episode!