Mark S

The 2020 International Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous will be held July 2–5, 2020 in Detroit, Michigan with the theme “Love and Tolerance is our Code.” A.A. members and guests from around the world will celebrate A.A.’s 85th year at this event with big meetings held Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday morning in the Ford Field Stadium. Other meetings, scheduled or informal, will take place throughout the weekend in the COBO Center in downtown Detroit.  https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/international-convention-2020

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

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Check out this episode!

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
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In some 12 step programs, they practice detachment with love. This is way for an individual to cope with living with someone with an addiction who does not want help. But when does detachment go too far. When does detachment become abandonment?

First thoughts?

What is detachment to you?
Have you ever practiced it?
What were the circumstances?
How was the outcome?

Have you had to detach in early sobriety?
Detach from who?
Detach from what?
Was it hard?
How did it work it out?

Have you ever been detached?
How did it feel?
Did you understand that you were being detached?
Was it explained?
Did this make you feel abandoned?

What is the difference between detachment and abandonment?
At what point is detachment actually abandonment?

What is abandonment?
Have you ever abandoned anyone?

My childhood friend Jeff

Why?
What was the outcome?

Have you ever been abandoned?
What was the circumstance and what was the outcome?

Andrew?
At first yes
No he was in just too much pain
It had nothing to do with me

What would you say to the new person about Detachment Versus Abandonment?

Check out this episode!

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
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So many of us have a mindset that thinks we’re missing out. We don’t have as much as other people have, we don’t have as much money as we’d like, we don’t have as much time as we’d like, we don’t get as much sleep as we’d like, we don’t get as many lucky breaks as we’d like, and the list goes on.

Tonight, we talk about enough and how it may be the key to happiness.

First thoughts on having enough in recovery.

For me, instant gratification is king, it can be difficult for me to be content with ‘enough’

Most of the time, I don’t even know what it is.

Have you struggled with knowing when enough is enough?

Is enough a decision?

Being good enough isn’t about being the best,

it’s about identifying our strengths and desires,

and allowing ourselves to be satisfied with the outcome.

What are some of your strengths?

How do you know they are your strengths?

Do you work on them?

How does this bring you happiness?

For me, Jealousy sometimes drives my desire for more

How about you, how do you deal with jealousy?

When it comes to material things,

I have heard that people can make a choice to have enough.

They can choose to live with enough.

Your thoughts on deciding to live with enough.

How is this done?

When you stop chasing material things or relationships, then you can start to appreciate how wonderful the place you are now is.

What about smelling the roses along the path of life?

No matter how cool or blessed you think you are, you’ll be tested. So arm yourself; stay open to change and keep building yourself an emotional toolkit that will see you through the tough times.

How do difficult times and the concept of enough relate?

Living with enough can nurture happiness.  Even with yourself. Are you enough?

Are You are good enough.  

Nurture your mind, body and spirit  – and take yourself out for some fun, sometimes. Yours is the only relationship you can’t leave. Treat it with kindness and respect.

Are you enough?

Are You are talented enough.

Don’t tell yourself you’re not imaginative, just make stuff. It’ll distract you from you problems, ground you in the present and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Are you talented enough?

Are You are fun enough.

Good relationships are the foundation of happiness. Bad ones will tear you apart and wreck your self-worth. So invest in those that matter; build a handful that will last — that will grow and change with you — and let the toxic ones go. They only serve to limit or hurt you.

Are you fun enough?

Are You are kind enough.

Be kind and generous but say no, sometimes.

Are You are attractive enough.

Your body is just a body. So don’t get all obsessed with it.

Are You are important enough.

Take your time. Create a life that means something or leaves something.

What would you say to the new person about enough?

Check out this episode!

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
2. Premi

   Few of us welcome the idea of surrendering to anyone or anything. We view surrender as a sign of weakness – a coward’s action in the face of a stronger and overpowering enemy. We’ve been taught to believe that the strong, brave, and courageous among us fight to defeat their enemies, so we resist surrendering for fear of seeing ourselves – or being seen by others – as weak.

   The act of surrender in recovery from addiction is a willingness to give up the fight against a perceived threat and to feel whatever our addictions have allowed us not to feel – fear, pain of the unknown, and lack of certainty. Addiction is often driven by a desire – for more happiness or less pain – that has become self-destructive and out of control. The disease of addiction continues to progress in a fruitless journey of avoidance, regardless of the consequences. By continuing to use, the fear of facing ourselves and the struggle associated with abstinence pushes recovery into some imaginary time in the future.

   Surrender is the foundation and ground upon which recovery is built. Recovery begins with surrender since without it there is little possibility for change. It is the platform on which we build new, changed, and sober lives.

   Before program, what did you think of the concept of surrender?

   When you first came into the program,
   what did you hear about surrender?
   Slogan – surrender to win
   What were your initial thoughts/feelings about surrender?
   confused
   When did you first surrender?
   First week
   What did you surrender to?
   Surrendered to my consequences

   Did you experience any anxiety when surrender was discussed as a recovery tool? Why?
   Did you experience relief when surrender was discussed as a recovery tool? Why?

   How is acceptance and surrender related?
   How are they different?

   How is being powerless related to surrender?
   Is turning your life over related to surrender?

   How is surrender and your higher power related in your program?
   How is service work and surrender related in your program?
   How is prayer related to surrender in your program?

   What do you need to surrender to today?
   I have to surrender to my path

   The persistent illusion is commonly read before meetings
   The Persistent Illusion or the beginning of Chapter 3 More About Alcoholism

   Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

   We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

   How does this statement relate to surrender?

   What would you say to the new person about surrender?

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Check out this episode!

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

Call Us Now  http://recoveredcast.com/speakpipe

This is a short episode with my mobile studio.  The same mobile setup I plan to use as we try to go on the road with Recovered Podcast. 

Today, I share my morning routine.

Check out this episode!

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

Call Us Now  http://recoveredcast.com/speakpipe

There was a time when we ignored trouble, hoping it would go away, or ran from it. But we always were left stuck to it. In AA, we learned that trouble is just a fact of life. We had to learn how to deal with it. Surprisingly, we found that trouble could converted into blessings.

In recovery, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.

Bill Wilson once wrote:

Great suffering and great love are AA disciplinarians; we need no others.

Pain is the touchstone of spiritual progress. The pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety and emotional turmoil before serenity.

AA was born out of trouble, the trouble that is the fatal malady of alcoholism. Every single one of us came into AA in trouble, that is why we came.

Tonight, we talk about dealing with trouble in recovery.

I have trouble with the equipment

First thoughts?

Did you come into recovery with trouble?
Did you think the 12 steps could help?
What did you want out of AA when you first came in?
What did you actually receive?

How does your spirituality help you with trouble?
How does prayer help?
How do you pray?
How do you meditate?
What is the difference for you?
How do you know if you are going to pray or meditate?

What have you learned from trouble?
How have you changed because of trouble?

What troubles are dealing with today?
What step, prayer, slogan, what part of the program are you working to help?

What would you say to the new guy about trouble?

Check out this episode!

If you want Recovered Podcast to come to you so you can share your story with us, please reach out to mark@recoveredcast.com and let me know.  We would love to come to your roundup, your conference, your event, your open talk….whatever, we want to carry your message to the person who still suffers.

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

Call Us Now  http://recoveredcast.com/speakpipe

This is a short episode with my mobile studio.  The same mobile setup I plan to use as we try to go on the road with Recovered Podcast. 

Today, I talk about my Higher Power and trying to be ok with him right now.  Not easy….

Check out this episode!

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

Call Us Now  http://recoveredcast.com/speakpipe

There are a variety of characteristics that make up what we refer to as “spirituality,” but it seems to me that tolerance stands out as one of the primary things we need to work on in recovery. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines tolerance as

2. sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own.

important for recovering people to remember.

We addicts know The Way Things Ought To Be. We tend to be hard-headed, opinionated and prone to black and white thinking.

Generally, we are solidly for or against things, and rarely see the world in shades of gray.

First to mind?
What were you thinking on the way over?

What does tolerance mean to you in your recovering program? (to permit)

Why is tolerance important in recovery? (respect for the other)
Page 84: open
…fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol.

When have you been intolerant?
What gets in the way of being tolerant? (control, selfishness)

What is needed for you to be olerant (love/charity)
Page 122: open
All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. This involves a process of deflation.

How is tolerance important to you and your home group?
Page 19: open
Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. We shall do our utmost to achieve that ideal. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.

Is tolerance a spiritual principle for you?
Page 83: open
Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them.

Page 67: open
…Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.

Page 70: open
We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. In this book you read?

How has your tolerance grown?

What is the difference between codependency and tolerance?

Page 125: open
We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories.

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Tonight’s show is Recovered on the Road from Columbus Ohio at author Annie Highwater’s book signing party as she launches her new book “Unbroken.”  

Addiction, conflict, and dysfunction can destroy any family.  But even in the depths of adversity and despair, there is hope.  Annie’s new book “Unbroken”share how we can learn to cope and overcome many pitfalls.  

We interview Annie at Outside the Lines Art Museum located inn German Village located in Columbus, Ohio.

Contact Annie for any questions:

annieunhooked@gmail.com

Check out this episode!

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Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
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Call and leave a message and become part of the show

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This episode was recorded from my new mobile studio.

One of the most common discussions I have with my clients is when they can start trusting their loved one again. Here are what some of the components look like in making that decision.
An enormous part of your loved ones’ recovery process and progress is built around them starting to pull themselves up by their own boot straps. Making decisions, weighing options, thinking through possibilities and starting to re-build their life on their terms, their way all starts with repaving the road of trust.

The more your loved one can come up with their own game plan, the more confidence will be built in their personal recovery as well as their addiction recovery. The alcoholic/addict needs to reconnect with themselves, and start to trust their own core instincts for planning and developing a road map toward their goals. Even if you don’t agree with the path they wish to take, or if ultimately it turns out to be the wrong one, let them be the lead Iditarod dog.

One of the first steps the recovering alcoholic/addict should commit to is starting to earn back the trust that was lost due to their addiction. Not only your trust, but the personal challenges in rebuilding their own trust for themselves.

I have created an acronym for what the family and friends of the alcoholic/addict should be experiencing as their loved ones’ recovery process strengthens:

Check out this episode!