recover

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/7PjC3H7riLZXf9j3Gsbaa7KWSgclvELIXVPwcMO3GOw_3D

Pride and Ego – Recovered 461

By: Mark S

January 28, 2014

What is Pride?

: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people

: a feeling that you are more important or better than other people

: a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good, difficult, etc.

When is it good?

When is it bad?

What’s the difference?

Interview with erika – CLICK ON ITUNES

How does it relate to recovery?

What does our literature say about pride?

p 48-49 of 12 and 12

p. 25 BB

Interview with Linda – CLICK ON ITUNES

What steps are used to evaluate?

What prayers are used?

What are the symptoms of pride moving to character defect?

Bronte from Australia – CLICK ON ItUNES

What is ego?

We asked our Recovered Podcast audience thie question, what is ego to you?

The self

a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.

b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

What is ego in recovery language?

How does it relate to recovery?

What does our literature say about ego?

What steps are used to evaluate?

What prayers are used?

Liz Lemon – NEXT TAB OVER

How does ego and pride relate?

Final Thoughts

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

Bonus 003 – Alex_H_Jail_Meeting-2014-01-22 Recovered 460

By: Mark S

January 25, 2014

A life in the day of Alex H. from Austin Texas. Thank you Alex for your contribution to the show!

Become a Premium Subscriber to listen to this show and about 400 other Premium Episodes.
Just Click here for Premium Subscriber details.

Toxic Relationships in Recovery – Recovered 459

By: Mark S

January 14, 2014

What is a toxic relationship?

How did they develop in your life before recovery?

How did they develop in recovery?

Is there a pattern?

How has recovery helped regarding difficult relationships?

What about toxic relationships with work?

with school?

with church?

with the law?

How do you handle toxic relationships within the family of origin?

What recovery tools do you use?

What steps?

What slogans?

What prayers?

How does your higher power fit in these situations?

Avoiding Toxic Relationships in Recovery

Here are six principles and prescriptions that might be of help.

1. Individual healing must precede relationship healing. Encourage your partner to get help for herself or himself via counseling or participation in groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon so that he or she can relearn to trust, forgive past injuries, and resist the urge to control your recovery efforts.

2. The very thing everyone has been hoping and praying for—RECOVERY—can threaten an intimate relationship. Because of all the feelings and patterns of behaviors that developed during the addiction years, the adjustment to recovery can exert great strain on intimate and family relationships. Expect such strain. It is a normal part of the recovery process.

3. Relational healing takes time. Remind yourselves to be patient with one another through this process. All that is wrong with the relationship does not reverse itself the moment recovery begins. The relationship must recover also, and this will proceed, like personal recovery, in ebbs and flows over time.

4. Relational healing may require outside professional help. Such help may increase the prospects of successful recovery and the prospects of salvaging the relationship.

6. Some relationships are not salvageable in recovery. In spite of the best efforts of those involved, not all intimate relationships will survive the recovery process. When it is clear a relationship will not survive, find a way to disengage from the relationship with as little damage to all

involved. This disengagement process may also require outside professional help.

For those entering recovery not in a committed relationship, there are the twin pitfalls of getting involved in another relationship too quickly and getting involved in relationships that are destructive to your personal health, safety and recovery. These pitfalls can be a particular problem for those who have come out of a turbulent family background or who have a history of stormy relationships. The process of selecting intimate partners is complicated by assortative mating.

Assortative mating is the process through which we select intimate partners based on similarities or differences with ourselves. This is a natural process, but can get complicated when we’ve developed a pattern of picking individuals who mirror our own destructive processes. Selecting partners that consistently mirror our own problems or abuse and/or abandon us brings chaos and emotional distress to an already fragile situation—early recovery. Needless to say, the drama and disruption of such relationships can undermine the most sincere recovery efforts.

Here are some suggested guidelines that may be of help.

1. Inventory your past relationships. Are there common patterns to how these relationships begin and end? Are you drawn to partners that also have severe alcohol and/or other drug problems? Do you seem to be drawn to a particular type of partner that ends up hurting you emotionally or physically? Does it feel like you keep re-enacting the same painful dramas in your life?

2. Define your pattern of vulnerability in relationships. It is good to get to know yourself as a person in recovery before getting into new relationships. Based on the above inventory, complete the following sentence: I need to avoid getting into relationships with individuals who _____________________________________________.

3. Define early warning signs. It may be helpful to work with a counselor or others who have had similar relationship problems.

Warning signs that tell me I want to avoid starting a relationship with someone.

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ____________________________________________________

3. ____________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________

Early warning signs that tell me I need to get out of a relationship that has begun

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ____________________________________________________

3. ____________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________

4. Consider remaining out of a serious relationship through your early months of recovery. This is one way to avoid “jumping from the frying pan into the fire.” Early recovery requires enormous energy. This is a time requiring a great deal of focus on yourself. If you are not in a serious relationship, consider this as a “time-out” period to get yourself together.

5. Define what you do want in a relationship. Complete the following sentence.

What I am seeking in a relationship is a man or woman who has the following characteristics:

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ____________________________________________________

3. ____________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________

5. Seek a relationship coach (a counselor, friend or peer in recovery) to guide you through your first relationships in recovery.

6. If you find your old relationship pattern continuing, get into a long-term therapy relationship that focuses on breaking this pattern.

7. Assertively manage your own safety and the safety of your children at all times.

Sober During the Holidays – Recovered 458

By: Mark S

January 3, 2014

Over the course of the last few weeks, many of us struggled to maintain our sobriety. We will talk about and review why this was, what we did early on, and how we maintain our sobriety now.

Also, if you’re new and you haven’t yet been able to quit and you want this to be your last holiday in a fog, we will tell you about our last holiday and how grateful we don’t have to do that anymore. We know that you think you don’t have a choice, we didn’t have one either, but you have to believe us when we say there is a solution.

SURVEY SAYS

Your thoughts?

What has been your experience? what did the holidays use to be like?

What do you recommend for the new guy going through his first Holiday season?

Here are some suggested tips, what do you think, what has been your experience

Tips to Stay Sober During the Holidays

Plan Your Days. Let your sponsor or friend in recovery know where you will be, and have their phone number with you in case you need encouragement.
Have a Plan B. If you must attend a party or gathering where alcohol is being served, have an escape route or alternative place to go if you suddenly feel uncomfortable around the alcohol, like for a coffee or out to a movie.
Be Specific When Offered a Drink. Instead of awkwardly telling the person that you’re a recovering alcoholic, just say “Sure, a Coke/Sprite/water with lemon would be great.”
Outsmart the Disease. Stay connected to sober people, places, and things. Don’t go to places serving alcohol if you don’t need to.
Take Extra Care of Yourself. Remember to slow down and take some quiet time for yourself during this busy time of year.
Don’t Overindulge. Go easy on the holiday sweets, exercise regularly, and don’t try to do too much.
Find New Ways to Celebrate Create some new symbols and rituals that will help redefine a joyful holiday season. You might host a holiday gathering for special recovering friends and/or attend celebrations of your 12 Step group.

Final Thoughts

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

Best Of Recovered Anna From Spera – Recovered 457

By: Mark S

December 30, 2013

We are taking some time off for the holidays. In the meantime, enjoy a Best Of Recovered Episode featuring Anna from Dawn Fam’s Spera, their Detox Center.

Sleep and Early Recovery – Recovered 456

By: Mark S

December 17, 2013

We are about the solution here at the Recovered Podcast. So we are going to talk about sleeping tips. What has been your experience with sleep in early recovery and what are some of the things that have helped. Also, what are some of the things that have not helped.

What is your experience?

Here are 12 Sleeping Tips during Early Recovery

1. Create a good sleeping environment, e.g., bed comfort, quietness,

darkness, comfortable temperature, and ventilation

2. Consider a white noise generator if there is a problem with noise in the

environment.

3. Set a consistent time period for going to bed and getting up, including on

weekends

4. Avoid daytime naps

5. Eliminate or reduce caffeine intake (particularly after 3 pm)

6. Get exercise early in the day, but avoid exercise in the evening

7. Keep a sleep diary by your bed, noting sleep patterns, troublesome

thoughts, dreams, etc. and discuss troublesome dreams with your counselor,

sponsor or others in recovery.

8. Learn and utilized relaxation techniques, e.g., progressive relaxation,

visualization, breathing exercises; use recovery prayers and self-talk

(slogans) as an aid in getting to sleep.

9. Minimize activities other than sleeping in your bed, e.g., eating, working,

watching television, reading, etc.

10. Avoid large, late meals; have a light snack before bedtime—some that

can actually aid sleep, e.g., small turkey sandwich, warm milk, a banana, a

cup of hot chamomile tea

11. Create a consistent bedtime routine and stick with it.

12. If you can’t get to sleep within 30 minutes, get out of bed and do

something relaxing in low light until you feel sleepy.

Serenity – Recovered 455

By: Mark S

December 3, 2013

1. Where does serenity show up in your life? How do you know you have it? Is it important? Why? Peace shows up inour hearts. Tranquility is the quiet within that gives us access to our higher selves. By tapping into the quiet of our hearts, we experience space, flow and possibility – core ingredients that help us to live peacefully.

Other places that peace shows up is in our physical space, our relationships and in our spirituality. We find peace in the purpose of our lives and we experience peace in our careers. Additionally, we experience peace in our families and in our communities. We find peace in our communication and in who and how we are.

2. Is serenity the absence of conflict, or is it a state of mind (and being) unto itself? If peace and serenity is some-thing more than the absence of conflict, what is it? What are the core ingredients of peace? What qualities help to generate peace — both internal tranquility as well as peace between adversaries?

3. Is serenity maintainable over time? If our lives are in a constant state of flux and forward momentum, how do we maintain our composure and equilibrium? How does one live from one’s center when there are constant obstacles coming our way and which serve to keep us off balance, and which destabilize us? How does one live in tranquility when flux is all around?

4. Is it possible to orient one’s self and life around the quality of serenity? That is, can you situate your life to maximize your serenity? How do you do this? If so, what commitment would you need to make in order to do so? What would this look like? How would your life look or be different?

5. What is your experience of serenity? When was the last time you paid attention to peace and tranquility, and your experience of it? What’s not conscious is often elusive. Focus on the quality and the role of peace in your life in order to increase it.

6. What elements contribute to the creation of continued peace and tranquility? If we understand what contributes to the creation of peace and tranquility, we’ll be better equipped to generate it in the future. We’ll be able to summon the creation of peace through conscious thought and action.

7. Is peace quantifiable? We count the wars between nations, but do we count or appreciate the days of peace? We name and count our adversaries, but take for granted our friends and loved ones. How do we quantify something we all too often take for granted?

8. What does inner serenity provide us access to? If peace is the gateway to a higher state of being, such as love, compassion and gratitude, how can we harness the power of peace and utilize it for the betterment of our lives? If peace provides us access to choice, opportunities and possibility, how can we build upon the foundational elements that generate growth built upon peace? What DOES peace provide us access to?

9. Does tranquility live anywhere but the present? We might build upon the past and we might use our vision for the future as a source of inspiration, but tranquility exists only in the present moment. Understand this profound but simple concept and transformation becomes possible! Each moment becomes a new opportunity to create peace and harmony.

10. Can peace and tranquility live without compassion? Compassion is an underlying tenet of peace. “Compassion is the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) While our motivation to seek peace might not always emerge from compassion, compassion is required for peace to hold.

Final Thoughts

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

Thanksgiving- Recovered 454

By: Mark S

November 27, 2013

In the United States, on the 4th Thursday of November, we have a national holiday called thanksgiving. It’s a time that we take the opportunity to gather with friends and family and celebrate the things we are thankful for. So this episode is also set aside to talk about the things that we are thankful for.

We also want to acknowledge that this can be the most difficult time of year for us alcoholics and al-anons. So we’d like to practice our program with one of our basic recovery tools, the gratitude list. To kick off the show, let’s take a look at what our listeners are grateful for. We asked the question, “What difficulties can you be grateful for? What thoughts do you have about being able to look at past difficulties as blessings in disguise?

Let’s turn our discussions to you our hosts. Let’s start this discussion with people in our lives

1. Who do you appreciate? How has recovery affected your attitude toward the people in your lives?

2. How are you fortunate? How has recovery played a part in your ability to be grateful about your circumstances?

3. What material possessions are you thankful for?

4. What abilities do you have that you are grateful for?

5. What about your surroundings (home/neighborhood/city/etc.) are you thankful for?

6. What experiences have you had that you are grateful for?

7. What happened today/yesterday/this week/this month/this year that you are grateful for?

8. What opportunities do you have that you are thankful for?

9. What have others in your life done that you are thankful for?

10. What have others done that you are benefiting from in your life (even if you don’t know who those people are)?

11. What relationships are you thankful for?

12. What are you taking for granted that, if you stop to think about it, you are grateful for?

13. What is there about the challenges/difficulties you have experienced (or are currently experiencing) that you can be thankful for? (e.g., What have you learned? How have you grown?)

14. What is different today than it was a year ago that you are thankful for?

15. What insights have you gained that you are grateful for?

Final Thoughts

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901