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“The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.” [1]
“Grouch” is not the name of a Sesame Street puppet. It means a “fit of temper.” [2]
Today, a brainstorming is generally considered by normal people to be a bunch of people creatively bouncing brilliant ideas off each other. Back in 1938 when the Big Book was written, a brainstorm was considered to be “an outburst of passion or agitation so violent as temporarily to deprive one of reason”.[3]
Psychologists will tell us that Violent temperament and agitation cuts us off from our access to sound reasoning. Agitation can also hinder our spiritual connections. So, if a brainstorm is a Spiritual sickness coupled with loss of intellectual reasoning, it is no wonder life becomes unmanageable and we feel adrift.
Sometimes, Life brings us to a place where we experience cruelty or injustice caused by people, places, and things. How I can determine how healthy I am in my spiritual life is by how I respond to those who disturb me.
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When you first learned of this topic, what did you first think? Where would like to begin with this topic?
What does âthe Grouchâ mean to you?
What does the âbrainstormâ mean to you?
Why are they bad for you?
This part of the big book focuses on
Resentments
When I first came into the program, I was told that looking at my resentments could be a journey of self discovery. It could be a key to lasting sobriety.
I had no idea what this meant.
I just knew I was pissed, jealous, and a victim.
How was talking about resentments helpful?
What about you?
When you first came in, what were some of your resentments?
Resentment means to re-live a past injury,
To cultivate this memory, to protect it.
What are your thoughts about this definition?
How can let go and let God help?
What are your thoughts about resentments leading to self-pity?
Has this happened to you?
What was the effect?
Where does self pity lead you?
What are your thoughts about the relationship between resentment and humility?
How is humility the cure for resentments?
How does this relate to Step 7?
When you were new, who did you think was to blame for these resentments?
What were your thoughts that you are the one who may be the cause of your resentment.
That maybe you got the ball rolling?
When dealing with resentments now, what tools do you use?
What steps help?
How do meetings help?
How is a sponsor helpful?
We have calls! Want to take them?
Phone calls
Nick from South Austrailia
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Cristie
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AcIBDokj7Ikg443ox2vjXzJ6Wqzj_WDwET5M-8rLm0l8tP9S-LcMi-NfM8AlFPH7g7cHX8VcKbMWHWBJXoOB81HZ0tNfLbhC0K65ZR9USkNM_t6A3M0Vxj-Bt4fMql8fsBI8nSIskEPlAb4Q7cCW7w5ZWrKg
Joey
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What would you say to the new guy?
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Call us at 1-734-288-7510 or tap Speakpipe
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email at mark@recoveredcast.com
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Starting out our new life in recovery involves taking chances, making decisions that can be life-altering, trying out healthier behaviors and working the 12-steps to firmly ground ourselves in sobriety. Itâs an incredible undertaking, a journey that is ongoing. We are never done with recovery. We are at it forever, one day at a time.
What about being able to trust yourself to do the right thing? Well, since most individuals in recovery have a difficult time with this, letâs talk about learning how to trust yourself again.
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Step 1 – Start With a Clean Slate
When you came in, did your slate need cleaning?
What is your experience with this?
How do you âdrop the rockâ?
How do you forget the past?
How do you focus on the positive?
NOTES
First and foremost, thereâs no point in carrying a lot of baggage from the past now that youâre in recovery. Having gone through treatment and made the decision to live your life clean and sober, you have a new chapter in front of you. Forget about the mistakes that you made in the past. You are not your past. It doesnât define you or dictate your future. Only you can do that, and youâve already decided that youâre going to live to the fullest of your ability and be in effective long-term recovery.
Starting off with this clean slate will make it easier to concentrate on healing and growing more self-confident. As your self-confidence increases, youâll find that making decisions becomes a little easier as well.
Step 2 – Build Upon Your Successes
What does this mean to you?
How can this help?
Do you have experience with this?
How do you do this?
How do you ârememberâ your successes?
When youâre just starting recovery, thereâs so much to do all at once. The tendency is to either go gung-ho and try to do it all or sink back on the couch in despair because you donât think you can tackle all that you feel you need to do. The key thing here is to embrace recovery and work it slowly, thoughtfully each day. When you experience a success â such as your first week of sobriety, first month, and so on â think of this as a building block. One successful achievement leads to another and another and so on.
Successes can be anything that you deem important. It could be that youâre finally able to have a meaningful conversation about your newly-won sobriety with your spouse or that youâve worked out a realignment of your workload with your supervisor to accommodate your attendance at 12-step meetings and gradually ramping up you job responsibilities. It could be successfully overcoming cravings by using the coping mechanisms you learned during treatment. Perhaps you find that being able to go to work each day is a success â especially if you had great difficulties with this prior to treatment.
However you define success, when you achieve it, build upon it. You will be making it easier to learn how to trust yourself again.
Step 3 – Ask for Help
When you were new, was this difficult? Why?
How did you do it early on?
Do you ask for help now?
Why is this important?
Who do you ask for help?
No one expects you to go it alone. In fact, no one recovers alone. You need the support and encouragement of others. Two of your most important support networks are your family and your 12-step groups. Naturally, youâll feel raw and confused when you first begin recovery. Go ahead and ask for help from your loved ones as well as your 12-step sponsor.
Your loved ones already know about your past problems â theyâve lived with them. Of course they want you to move forward in recovery. If you feel reluctant to discuss your fears with them, thatâs understandable. But donât miss out on the opportunity to open the lines of communication at home. Give it some time and bring up the subject when you feel comfortable. Ask for support from your spouse or loved ones.
It may be easier to go first to your 12-step sponsor â once you find one. After all, thatâs what the sponsor is there for, to help support and encourage newcomers like you to recovery. The sponsor has been where you are, felt what youâre feeling, and knows all about how difficult it can be to trust yourself again. The advice and counsel you receive from your 12-step sponsor and fellow group members can make all the difference in the world when youâre learning how to trust yourself again.
Step 4 – Regaining Self-Trust Requires Action
What actions do you take to regain trust in yourself?
Itâs important to note here that the ability to trust yourself again requires that you do something. You canât just sit back and expect or hope that youâll regain your self-trust. It just doesnât happen that way. Self-trust never occurs in a vacuum: it results from actions that you undertake.
Look at regaining trust as a process of self-discovery or rediscovery, as it more appropriately is. Once you possessed some measure of self-trust. You probably didnât think much about it until you lost your self-respect, until you sunk so deep in your substance abuse or other addictive behaviors that you and others doubted your word. Your actions then were anything but trustworthy. But back to regaining the trust you lost in yourself, it can be done. But you do have to make conscious decisions in many areas of your new life in recovery in order to learn how to trust yourself again.
Step 6 – How Do You Know You Trust Yourself Again?
When youâre going along in recovery, doing the things on your daily schedule, crossing off goals on your list, taking care of yourself in the best way you can, how do you know if you really trust yourself again? Thatâs a good question. The truth of the matter is that you probably wonât think about self-trust as a general rule. Itâs not a subjec that springs automatically to mind on a daily basis. Itâs not like getting up, eating breakfast, getting ready for work, going to work, attending 12-step meetings, spending time with the family, or going to bed. Itâs not on your daily schedule. Trust isnât a topic you sit around analyzing for hours on end. Trust, especially trust in yourself, is something that develops over time and results from self-accomplishment of goals and belief in your own abilities to do what you need to do in recovery.
You might go for several months without ever thinking about whether you trust yourself or not. However, the fact that youâll be able to weigh and balance different options and make a decision as to what is right for you in various situations will be evidence that you have begun to trust yourself again. You look at whatâs available to you, sift through the pros and cons of each course of action, and make a determination as to your course of action. And trust, remember, requires action. When you are actively involved in decision-making regarding your recovery, youâre building your reservoir of self-trust.
Other Tips to Learning How To Trust Yourself Again
What other tips do you have?
There are many ways to learn how to trust yourself again. For each individual in recovery, there may be hundreds of things that work or just a significant few. Experiment. Be bold. Take what works and do more of it. Try some things that are new.
Buy or download literature, brochures, pamphlets, FAQs and other resources from the various 12-step groups. Take out books on recovery from the local library. Watch programs that deal with overcoming substance abuse or process addictions. Become as knowledgeable as you can about recovery and realize that thereâs always something new in the field that can prove helpful to you in your journey.
One day, when youâre ready â when youâve been in effective recovery for at least a year â you may wish to consider becoming a 12-step sponsor to another newcomer. When you reach the point where you are able to handle with confidence the challenges and opportunities that come your way with confidence, youâll know that youâve learned how to trust yourself again. Being in recovery doesnât mean that youâll always have all the answers. It does mean that youâll be armed with the tools you need to be able to make the determination about the right thing to do â and then do it.
Recovery is an exciting journey. Itâs all about discovering â and rediscovering â who you are, who you intend to be, and what youâre willing to do to get there. Learning how to trust yourself again is part of the evolotion of the brand-new you.
We have calls
Ollie
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Jen from Maryland
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What would you say to the new guy?
What would you say to the new guy about this topic?
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Tonight, the topic is
Well, itâs you Zach
Zach, today we will do the Recovered Podcast a little different. Zach is a regular host on the Recovered Podcast, but today I want our listeners to know you Zach in a more complete way. I want our listeners to be inspired by your story.
So, today Zach, I want you to share with our listeners your story. Your story of challenge, rising to success, then crushing defeat, and then rising again from the ashes to a new story of recovery. Finally, Zach, I want our listeners to know what your latest adventure has been.
Each step we practice includes a recovery principle we need.
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Is this ok with you Zach?
Where were you born, tell us your early story
When did you first drink
When did you first drug
What was that like?
Story of wrestling
How did addiction affect this
How did you end up at hazelden?
Describe rehab?
What was the most important thing you learned in rehab?
How did you put your recovery life back together
How did you put your professional life back togather
How did the tools of recovery help?
What has been the biggest challenge in the latest re-invention of Zach the wrestler?
You recently auditioned for American Ninja Warrior
The action-packed series follows competitors as they tackle a series of challenging obstacle courses in both city qualifying and city finals rounds across the country. Those that successfully complete the finals course in their designated region move on to the national finals round in Las Vegas, where they face a stunning four-stage course modeled after the famed Mt. Midoriyama course in Japan. The winner will take home a grand prize of $1,000,000. Although many have come close, no competitor has yet to achieve total victory and claim the prize.
Tell us about your experience.
What did you learn?
What have you achieved so far?
What do you hope to accomplish by participating?
How can our listeners get in touch with you?
How can our listeners support you?
How can our listeners watch you on TV?
Thank you for joining us in studio
