Because of the COVID-19 virus, the regular studio version of the podcast has been cancelled. But tonight, Anna and I discussed the topic of Detachment.
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For friends and family of a person dealing with alcohol or drug addiction, detachment can be a difficult concept to grasp. In the context of the Al-Anon program, “detach with love” is the idea that the family has to let go of their loved one’s problem. It gives you permission to let them experience any consequences associated with their drinking or drug use and focus on your own health and well-being.
The stress and exhaustion associated with caring for someone with an addiction can be overwhelming. It may lead to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy behaviors or unsafe living conditions for your family.
Detachment does not mean you stop loving the person and it doesn’t mean physically leaving (unless you feel the need). Instead, it demonstrates that you don’t like or approve of their behavior. It is stepping back from all the problems associated with addiction and stopping any attempts to solve them. You still care, but it is best for everyone involved if you take care of yourself first.
What is codependency?
What does taking care of oneself mean to you?
As a parent, sometimes this feels like being irresponsible as a parent.
How do we know when parenting end and codependency begins
How do you Avoid the suffering caused by someone else’s -actions?
What does this mean to you?
Do drugs or alcohol need to be involved?
Don’t allow yourself to be abused or misused during recovery.
How do you know if there is abuse?
What is abuse?
Avoid doing things for them that they can do.
How do you determine these “things” they can and cannot do?
Don’t use manipulation to change their behaviors.
How do you know if you are using manipulation?
Don’t cover up their mistakes.
How do shame and guilt influence this behavior?
Avoid creating or preventing a crisis, especially if it’s inevitable and may be the wake-up call they need.
Fear is a motivator for me