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Your issues with boundaries come from your past. You may have grown up where boundaries were strict and harsh. This could lead to an inability to express your feelings or to keep everyone at arm’s length. Having no boundaries will lead to you and others being enmeshed. When this happens, your roles are interchangeable and blurred and you will not establish your sense of identity. As you get older, your relationships mirror those of the past and history begins to repeat itself. As you fall into the same patterns, you increase your risk of experiencing depression or anxiety and may fall into drugs and alcohol to help cope.
Establishing boundaries in your life is important, especially in recovery. By setting boundaries, you no longer allow others to take advantage of you and you begin to find your voice and learn how to use it. Your communication with others improves as you express your thoughts and feelings. Healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships with people who have your best interests in mind, support and respect you and are willing to work with you. An added benefit is that you begin to establish your sense of self.
This topic is much more popular in al-anon than in AA.
Woulds you agree?
When was the last time you had the topic of boundaries at your table?
Why do you think the topic of boundaries is more popular in al-anon?
Because we are the ones typically crossing the boundaries.
What are boundaries?
What Are Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries?
How do you Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries ?
For you, what are some unhealthy boundaries you have developed before program?
Here are some possible examples
Telling someone else how to think or feel
Sacrificing your personal values and beliefs to please someone else
Forcing your advice or beliefs on others and pressuring them to follow your advice or think the same
Allowing someone else to define you and dictate your actions
Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings
For you what are healthy boundaries you have developed in recovery and why?
Here are some examples
Encouraging sharing feelings and thoughts
Honoring your personal values and beliefs even if others may not agree with them
Taking responsibility for all that you do or say
Taking full ownership and responsibility in defining yourself
Today, when are you most vulnerable and allow unhealthy boundaries/
How can the program help?
What are some boundaries you don’t want crossed?
How do you communicate these boundaries?
What do you do when they are crossed?
Have you ever crossed someone else’s boundary?
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