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There are a variety of characteristics that make up what we refer to as “spirituality,” but it seems to me that tolerance stands out as one of the primary things we need to work on in recovery. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines tolerance as
2. sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own.
important for recovering people to remember.
We addicts know The Way Things Ought To Be. We tend to be hard-headed, opinionated and prone to black and white thinking.
Generally, we are solidly for or against things, and rarely see the world in shades of gray.
First to mind?
What were you thinking on the way over?
What does tolerance mean to you in your recovering program? (to permit)
Why is tolerance important in recovery? (respect for the other)
Page 84: open
…fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol.
When have you been intolerant?
What gets in the way of being tolerant? (control, selfishness)
What is needed for you to be olerant (love/charity)
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All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. This involves a process of deflation.
How is tolerance important to you and your home group?
Page 19: open
Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. We shall do our utmost to achieve that ideal. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
Is tolerance a spiritual principle for you?
Page 83: open
Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them.
Page 67: open
…Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
Page 70: open
We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. In this book you read?
How has your tolerance grown?
What is the difference between codependency and tolerance?
Page 125: open
We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories.
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