Mark S

As we continue our study of the seven deadly sins, we come to greed?

To begin the show, let’s take a look at what our listeners thing greed is.

I asked our listeners at our website,

To what form of greed are you most vulnerable to?

some of our responses included

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/Ub_2BKobN6u42xlV5frplfGjY6ONX8mzVm0x7TnI1CJ4E_3D

1. What do you define as greed?

2. Is there a line between survival instincts and greed, or are they the same? Why?

3. Can greed be a positive thing?

4. How does ambition differ from greed

How did greed influence you before the program?

How does your greed affect your recovery?

What about when you perceive greed in others, how do you react?

What part of your program (steps, prayers, slogans, meetings) helps you detect greed?

How does your program help you in tempering your greed?

How does your program help you deal with the greed of others?

our literature references

… greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth.   12&12 Step Four, p.48   

To avoidfalling into confusionover the names these defects should be called, let‘s take a universallyrecognizedlist of majorhumanfailings — the SevenDeadlySins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony,envy, and sloth.

2…. greed masquerade as ambition?   12&12 Step Six, p.66   

Isn’t it true that we like to let greed masquerade as ambition?

3…. greed, possessiveness, and pride have too often …   12&12 Step Four, p.51   

In these areasfear, greed, possessiveness, and pride have too oftendone their worst.

Final Thoughts

http://anonpress.org/bb/

http://aa.org/twelveandtwelve/en_tableofcnt.cfm

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

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What is Pride?

: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people

: a feeling that you are more important or better than other people

: a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good, difficult, etc.

When is it good?

When is it bad?

What’s the difference?

Interview with erika – CLICK ON ITUNES

How does it relate to recovery?

What does our literature say about pride?

p 48-49 of 12 and 12

p. 25 BB

Interview with Linda – CLICK ON ITUNES

What steps are used to evaluate?

What prayers are used?

What are the symptoms of pride moving to character defect?

Bronte from Australia – CLICK ON ItUNES

What is ego?

We asked our Recovered Podcast audience thie question, what is ego to you?

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/7PjC3H7riLZXf9j3Gsbaa7KWSgclvELIXVPwcMO3GOw_3D

The self

a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.

b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

What is ego in recovery language?

How does it relate to recovery?

What does our literature say about ego?

What steps are used to evaluate?

What prayers are used?

Liz Lemon – NEXT TAB OVER

How does ego and pride relate?

Final Thoughts

http://anonpress.org/bb/

http://aa.org/twelveandtwelve/en_tableofcnt.cfm

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

Check out this episode!

A life in the day of Alex H. from Austin Texas.  Thank you Alex for your contribution to the show!

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What is a toxic relationship?

How did they develop in your life before recovery?

How did they develop in recovery?

Is there a pattern?

How has recovery helped regarding difficult relationships?

What about toxic relationships with work?

with school?

with church?

with the law?

How do you handle toxic relationships within the family of origin?

What recovery tools do you use?

What steps?

What slogans?

What prayers?

How does your higher power fit in these situations?

Avoiding Toxic Relationships in Recovery

Here are six principles and prescriptions that might be of help.

1. Individual healing must precede relationship healing. Encourage your partner to get help for herself or himself via counseling or participation in groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon so that he or she can relearn to trust, forgive past injuries, and resist the urge to control your recovery efforts.

2. The very thing everyone has been hoping and praying for—RECOVERY—can threaten an intimate relationship. Because of all the feelings and patterns of behaviors that developed during the addiction years, the adjustment to recovery can exert great strain on intimate and family relationships. Expect such strain. It is a normal part of the recovery process.

3. Relational healing takes time. Remind yourselves to be patient with one another through this process. All that is wrong with the relationship does not reverse itself the moment recovery begins. The relationship must recover also, and this will proceed, like personal recovery, in ebbs and flows over time.

4. Relational healing may require outside professional help. Such help may increase the prospects of successful recovery and the prospects of salvaging the relationship.

6. Some relationships are not salvageable in recovery. In spite of the best efforts of those involved, not all intimate relationships will survive the recovery process. When it is clear a relationship will not survive, find a way to disengage from the relationship with as little damage to all

involved. This disengagement process may also require outside professional help.

For those entering recovery not in a committed relationship, there are the twin pitfalls of getting involved in another relationship too quickly and getting involved in relationships that are destructive to your personal health, safety and recovery. These pitfalls can be a particular problem for those who have come out of a turbulent family background or who have a history of stormy relationships. The process of selecting intimate partners is complicated by assortative mating.

Assortative mating is the process through which we select intimate partners based on similarities or differences with ourselves. This is a natural process, but can get complicated when we’ve developed a pattern of picking individuals who mirror our own destructive processes. Selecting partners that consistently mirror our own problems or abuse and/or abandon us brings chaos and emotional distress to an already fragile situation—early recovery. Needless to say, the drama and disruption of such relationships can undermine the most sincere recovery efforts.

Here are some suggested guidelines that may be of help.

1. Inventory your past relationships. Are there common patterns to how these relationships begin and end? Are you drawn to partners that also have severe alcohol and/or other drug problems? Do you seem to be drawn to a particular type of partner that ends up hurting you emotionally or physically? Does it feel like you keep re-enacting the same painful dramas in your life?

2. Define your pattern of vulnerability in relationships. It is good to get to know yourself as a person in recovery before getting into new relationships. Based on the above inventory, complete the following sentence: I need to avoid getting into relationships with individuals who _____________________________________________.

3. Define early warning signs. It may be helpful to work with a counselor or others who have had similar relationship problems.

Warning signs that tell me I want to avoid starting a relationship with someone.

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ____________________________________________________

3. ____________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________

Early warning signs that tell me I need to get out of a relationship that has begun

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ____________________________________________________

3. ____________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________

4. Consider remaining out of a serious relationship through your early months of recovery. This is one way to avoid “jumping from the frying pan into the fire.” Early recovery requires enormous energy. This is a time requiring a great deal of focus on yourself. If you are not in a serious relationship, consider this as a “time-out” period to get yourself together.

5. Define what you do want in a relationship. Complete the following sentence.

What I am seeking in a relationship is a man or woman who has the following characteristics:

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ____________________________________________________

3. ____________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________

5. Seek a relationship coach (a counselor, friend or peer in recovery) to guide you through your first relationships in recovery.

6. If you find your old relationship pattern continuing, get into a long-term therapy relationship that focuses on breaking this pattern.

7. Assertively manage your own safety and the safety of your children at all times.

Check out this episode!

Over the course of the last few weeks, many of us struggled to maintain our sobriety.  We will talk about and review why this was, what we did early on, and how we maintain our sobriety now.

Also, if you’re new and you haven’t yet been able to quit and you want this to be your last holiday in a fog, we will tell  you about our last holiday and how grateful we don’t have to do that anymore.  We know that you think you don’t have a choice, we didn’t have one either, but you have to believe us when we say there is a solution.

SURVEY SAYS

Your thoughts?

What has been your experience? what did the holidays use to be like?

What do you recommend for the new guy going through his first Holiday season?

Here are some suggested tips, what do you think, what has been your experience

Tips to Stay Sober During the Holidays

• Plan Your Days. Let your sponsor or friend in recovery know where you will be, and have their phone number with you in case you need encouragement.

• Have a Plan B. If you must attend a party or gathering where alcohol is being served, have an escape route or alternative place to go if you suddenly feel uncomfortable around the alcohol, like for a coffee or out to a movie.

• Be Specific When Offered a Drink. Instead of awkwardly telling the person that you’re a recovering alcoholic, just say “Sure, a Coke/Sprite/water with lemon would be great.”

• Outsmart the Disease. Stay connected to sober people, places, and things. Don’t go to places serving alcohol if you don’t need to.

• Take Extra Care of Yourself. Remember to slow down and take some quiet time for yourself during this busy time of year.

• Don’t Overindulge. Go easy on the holiday sweets, exercise regularly, and don’t try to do too much.

• Find New Ways to Celebrate Create some new symbols and rituals that will help redefine a joyful holiday season. You might host a holiday gathering for special recovering friends and/or attend celebrations of your 12 Step group.

Final Thoughts

http://anonpress.org/bb/

http://aa.org/twelveandtwelve/en_tableofcnt.cfm

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901

Check out this episode!