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Mark S

Days of Wine and Roses Movie Review – Recovered 452

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Last week we attended the Traverse City Fall Round Up.  Which is a regional AA conference.  I spoke on Sunday and gave my Open Talk with an emphasis on my spiritual journey.


Following our reflections, we will play an episode we participated in with The Recovery Show.  We all watched the movie Days of Wine and Roses and then we recorded an episode on our reaction to this movie about alcoholics, recovery, and relapse.


I’m attending a suicide survivors support group with victims that range from 14 to 35. The time since death ranges from 30 years to 3 months. Just like AA, there is no other place where you can talk about these feelings. The question of why, why didn’t’ we see it? We are haunted by the thought that we could have prevented this disaster.


I’ve been working in Toronto and commuting back and forth with my co-worker. He’s a faithful Muslim, he’s from northern Africa and has a green card.He also has French nationality. Try to explain this gracefully to the boarder patrol when trying to cross the border. I’m always terrified when I try to re enter the USA, I just imagine getting my car searched .


Now we are going to play an episode we participated in  from The Recovery Show….

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Help Us Prepare For Our Next Show

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On Monday, November 18 at 6:30 pm EST (-5 GMT) our Recovery Topic will be:
Recovery On The Road – How Do You Work a Program?
So help us prepare by taking this survey.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

Bonus 002 – Mark S. TC Fall Round Up Open Talk – Recovered 451

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This is the Open Talk I gave on November 3, 2013.  My talk was supposed to be the Spiritual Talk, but when I opened my discussion with an F-Bomb, I guess that ended that.
The Traverse City Fall Round Up was an awesome experience for both me and my wife Anna.  We met so many kind and wonderful people who treated us like we were special.  John and Cindy spoke on Friday night and they have been on the speaker circuit for some time and know all the big names in AA.  John was very generous in his advice to me, John told me to just go out and have some fun.
Mary D spoke on Saturday night and she is a dynamic and funny person.  Her story and our story intersect at the place called tragedy.  We will forever be connected by these tragic events that are sure to happen to those of us who love addicts and alcoholics.
Dan F. and Andrea are friends from our home group.  We didn’t know that they were conducting a panel discussion.  They shared their experience strength and hope in regards to The Family Afterward.  Andrea, an AlAnon and Dan the alcoholic also shared from the heart and won the crown over with their wit and charm.  We hung out with these two for the rest of the weekend and we had a ball.
Thank you so much for contributing to The Recovered Podcast.  Contributions you make allow us to share the story of hope to a world that desperately needs it.
Peace

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Service Work Ryan D – Recovered 450

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This is an interview with Ryan D from Traverse City, Michigan. Ryan was the speaker chair person for the Traverse City Fall Round Up, an annual regional conference held in Norther Michigan.  Ryan is a great supporter of The Recovered Podcast and asked us to participate in this regional conference.

Ryan shares his experience, strength, and hope relative to his service commitments he’s made over the years.  We recorded this interview with my iPhone using my mobile set up, I think the sound is improving each time.
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TC Round-Up Reflections

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Our open talk on our spiritual journey as a result of our son’s passing was well received. Members from Canton Candlelight and Vision For You were here and it was great be with every one.The other speakers, John and Cindy, Mary, and Andrea and Dan were all powerful and inspirational. I have all the mp3 files and I will be making them available.

 We are finding that survivors of suicide are abundant in both AA and Alanon. I’m wondering why I haven’t heard their stories st meetings before. Is it possible that the stigma of suicide prevents even one of us from sharing. I’m wondering what your thoughts are on this subject.

Anna and I plan to record some premium episodes about our journey to The Traverse City Roundup while we are still basking in the glow of this event.

Don’t forget that November 11 will be a special episode with Jim Balmer, president of Dawn Farm. Our topic will be The History of AA. So join us live on Monday November 11 at 6:30 EST (-5 GMT).

Recovery Is Alive and Well in Traverse City

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We are currently attending the Regional Conference at Traverse City Michigan. Your generous contributions to the show will help with the costs for us being up here. Thanks for helping us carry the message of hope to the new guy in Northern Michigan. Friday night speakers were John and Cindy from Texas. Cindy, an Alanon, and John, an AA, were funny and engaging. Not an easy act to follow for us on Sunday morning, pray for us. John and Cindy know all the big names in AA today and we had dinner with them and we were enlightened to hear about Clancy I., etc. on a personal level. More to follow….

Help Us Prepare For Our Next Show on History of AA

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On Monday, November 11, 2013, we will discuss the history of AA. Help us prepare by telling us who you are interested in.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

Taking Action – Recovered 449

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Taking positive steps in the recovery process.  Since alcoholism affects body, mind, and spirit, action in all these areas are probably necessary to restore the mind, body, and spirit.


Some examples are:


  • Meditation or other relaxation techniques

  • Fitness activities

  • Devoting time to other people

  • Reading inspirational material

  • Helping other people

  • Learning new things

  • Attending fellowship meetings

  • Spending time in nature

  • Journaling

  • Eating healthy food

  • Devoting time to listening to family


What has been your experience?

What activities did you do most before the program?

What actions did you do most often in early recovery?

How about now?

Is there a difference between now and early in recovery?  Why?


How do you stay committed to positive actions such as exercise?  Examples may include setting goals, schedule activity on calendar, charting progress/taking notes.

  • It is a good idea if people tie their daily positive action to an overall goal. So for example they might decide that their aim is to become a less selfish person, and so they can do things each day to bring them nearer to this goal.

  • Create a schedule where they write down the positive actions they plan to take and when they are going to take them. It may sometimes be necessary to adjust these schedules so it is best to view them as a tool and not become a slave to them.

  • Journaling at the end of the day is important because it gives the individual the chance to reflect on the positive action they have taken that day. This way the person can track their progress and ensure that their actions are taking them in a direction they want to go.

  • Another important reason for why journaling is important is that it keeps people motivated. Progress tends to occur slowly that it is easy for people to miss it – by looking back on a journal the individual will be able to see how much of a difference their daily positive actions have made to their life.

  • If people have some type of routine it usually makes it easier to commit to daily positive action.


    http://anonpress.org/bb/

    http://aa.org/twelveandtwelve/en_tableofcnt.cfm

    http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1901


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How Do You Take Action in Recovery?

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Tragedy, Hope and Recovery – Bonus 001

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This is the lead discussion that I did for Vision For You in Ann Arbor, Michigan in October 2013.  If you would like to listen to this message, please consider providing a donation to the podcast and become a Premium Subscriber. I will try to publish extra content for only our premium subscribers on a regular basis, about twice a month. In addition, over 400 back catalog episodes are available to our premium subscribers. To make your donation to support the show, just click on “Become A Premium Subscriber” located on the right side panel of the website. Your donation levels to be a member are only $7.99 per year or $1.99 per month.

Now, here is the text to my talk:

My name is Mark and I’m an alcoholic.  My sobriety date is March 17, 2003, my home group is Canton Candlelight, my sponsor’s name is ????, and my wife’s name is ????….but what the hell.  That’s not why I’m here.  I’m here because I heard a long time ago that this group was alive and well, and that there were many young people in recovery at this meeting and that they were excited about recovery.  That’s why I’m here.  I was taken to my first AA meeting by a sixteen year old heroin addict.  He saved my life.  So if you’re new and you don’t think that you know enough about recovery to make a difference in anybody’s life.  I’m here to tell you as living proof, you can make a difference.  You don’t have to believe this, but you do have to believe that I believe that you can make a difference.  You can save a life, if you try.  You don’t have to do it perfectly, but you do have to try.
Last week I came into this meeting down and depressed.  Kevin came up to me and asked me how I am.  I thought to myself, perfect, I can finally unload on somebody.  I told Kevin that it was a bad day and that I was really down.  He said, huh, I know, why you don’t lead this meeting next week.  Kevin, do you remember what I said?  I said what the fuck.  Don’t you see I’m dying here?  But Kevin was right.  You people are always right.  I sat down and started to think about my recovery and what I wanted to say to you.  You see, I stopped thinking about me and I started to think about you, and I felt better.  So you see, Kevin was right.  He had the solution.  I just didn’t know it at the time.
Like I told you, I have a fondness for the young person in recovery.  That 16 year old heroin addict I told you about, that addict was my son.  He saved my life.  Where there is recovery there is hope.  And so I’m a man of hope.   Even though Andrew struggled in sobriety, we were so alike.  We supported each other in recovery.  His home group and mine were the same and our home group met every night.  The 12 steps guidance group meets every night at 11:30 pm at the Northwest Alano Club in Wayne Michigan.   So for a while there we went to meetings together every night.  I would drive and Andrew would tell jokes or he would tell me hilarious stories about what you young people do in recovery.  Yes, Andrew was a great support in my recovery.   When the PC Alano club opened up in Canton Michigan in the summer of 2008, Andrew supported me in starting my current home group, Canton Candlelight.  Lives are being changed there and lives are being restored.  This all happened because of Andrew and his encouragement of starting this new meeting.
In the fall of 2007, I started a recovery podcast.  I would talk about a recovery topic and record it.  Everybody thought I was crazy.  But not Andrew.  Andrew gave me constructive criticism.  Andrew encouraged me and he assured me that I had something going on here… that people would listen if I would keep it up and get better.  And so I did.  I took his suggestions, made changes but most of all, just kept doing the podcast no matter what.  Because of Andrew, the message of hope goes out every week and we get about 20,000 downloads every month.  Lives are being changed because of Andrew.  I know this because the listeners tell us every week.
Andrew took me to my first meeting and it stuck.  I stayed in the program and things got better.  Andrew, not so much.  When he worked a program, things got better, when he relapsed, things got worse.  But through the fellowship of the program he had much success.  He graduated from high school, this is a miracle.  Andrew graduated from college and earned a degree in business and this is a miracle.  So even though relapse haunted Andrew so did recovery at times which allowed him to achieve things beyond his dreams.   Andrew moved to Florida to start a career.   He got promoted and was working directly for the CFO of a major corporation in Tampa Florida.
I worried about Andrew every day.  I was upstairs at alanon every week learning about detachment about letting go.  I prayed every night that God would protect Andrew that AA would support Andrew.  That Andrew would be surrounded by people who would support and love him.  Like you all did when he was here in Michigan.
I thought Andrew was on his way.  I trusted God and let go.  But our disease is patient, cunning baffling powerful.  In the spring of 2012, Andrew pick up again.  On July 2, 2012 Andrew took his own life.  My life can never be the same.  I was crushed, depressed, and ANGRY.  I was angry at God. I was angry at alanon.  I was angry at AA.   I did everything right.  I did exactly what those people told me to do upstairs, and the result was exactly what I feared.  What about AA in Florida, where were they?  Andrew was dead and there was nothing I could do.  I am haunted by the thought that I could have prevented this terrible disaster.  But I don’t know.  I will never know.
Three weeks after Andrew’s death, we had to go to Florida to gather Andrew’s things.  I was afraid to meet all the people I was so angry with.  But you know what we found out?  Andrew was surrounded by people who loved him and supported him.  Andrew had been surrounded by AA to support him in recovery.  My prayers were answered and God was present in his life.  Andrew chose the tragic path.
This affects every aspect of my life.  I felt just like the new guy.  Sick, confused, hurt, hopeless….so I did what every new comer should do.  I went to a ton of meetings.  I went there and poured out my heart.  And the miracle happened.  You listened.  You didn’t claim to have the answers, you don’t.  You didn’t tell me what to do, you were simply present.  I wasn’t alone, and this was enough.  This was enough to get me through the day.
But you did give suggestions.  You told me I was vulnerable, just as vulnerable as the new guys.  I was told to take care of myself.  Watch what I eat.  Get plenty of sleep.  Exercise and take care of the other suicide survivors in the family.  We are all hurting.  But we are all in recovery.  Where there is recovery, there is hope.
And then there’s the spiritual component of grief in recovery.  So we got a spiritual director to help us navigate this.  I told him about my anger towards God for these events.  Our spiritual director told us that we were right, it’s not fair and this is just awful.  He told us that God’s plan A was to have Andrew live a long and happy life.  But that’s not what happened.  And so there’s plan b and plan that could be even better than plan A if we participated.  We had choices.  We could either sink into depression and despair and the story of Andrew would die too.  Or we could decide to make meaning of the life that was given us.  That we could honor those things that Andrew honored.
So through the podcast we organized a fund raiser for an organization Andrew supported.  Because of Andrew, we raised enough money to make recovery a possibility to about 6 people.  The story of Andrew has not died.  It continues on.
If you’re new and you don’t think recovery will work for you, I’m here to tell you that it can work for you.  This room is full of people who thought exactly that.  They thought they were hopeless.  That they had a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.  But in this room, you can find hope; you can find a fellowship that will help.  You will find a solution that has 12 steps, and this is our great news for you, if you want it.  The choice is yours.
So if you’re new, here are a few suggestions.  Abandon yourself to god and admit your faults.  Clear away the wreckage of the past and give freely.
Thank you.



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