Mark S
Joe and Charlie History Part 4 – Recovered 704
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Trusting Yourself – Recovered 703
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What about being able to trust yourself to do the right thing? Well, since most individuals in recovery have a difficult time with this, letâs talk about learning how to trust yourself again.
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Step 1 – Start With a Clean Slate
When you came in, did your slate need cleaning?
What is your experience with this?
How do you âdrop the rockâ?
How do you forget the past?
How do you focus on the positive?
NOTES
First and foremost, thereâs no point in carrying a lot of baggage from the past now that youâre in recovery. Having gone through treatment and made the decision to live your life clean and sober, you have a new chapter in front of you. Forget about the mistakes that you made in the past. You are not your past. It doesnât define you or dictate your future. Only you can do that, and youâve already decided that youâre going to live to the fullest of your ability and be in effective long-term recovery.
Starting off with this clean slate will make it easier to concentrate on healing and growing more self-confident. As your self-confidence increases, youâll find that making decisions becomes a little easier as well.
Step 2 – Build Upon Your Successes
What does this mean to you?
How can this help?
Do you have experience with this?
How do you do this?
How do you ârememberâ your successes?
When youâre just starting recovery, thereâs so much to do all at once. The tendency is to either go gung-ho and try to do it all or sink back on the couch in despair because you donât think you can tackle all that you feel you need to do. The key thing here is to embrace recovery and work it slowly, thoughtfully each day. When you experience a success â such as your first week of sobriety, first month, and so on â think of this as a building block. One successful achievement leads to another and another and so on.
Successes can be anything that you deem important. It could be that youâre finally able to have a meaningful conversation about your newly-won sobriety with your spouse or that youâve worked out a realignment of your workload with your supervisor to accommodate your attendance at 12-step meetings and gradually ramping up you job responsibilities. It could be successfully overcoming cravings by using the coping mechanisms you learned during treatment. Perhaps you find that being able to go to work each day is a success â especially if you had great difficulties with this prior to treatment.
However you define success, when you achieve it, build upon it. You will be making it easier to learn how to trust yourself again.
Step 3 – Ask for Help
When you were new, was this difficult? Why?
How did you do it early on?
Do you ask for help now?
Why is this important?
Who do you ask for help?
No one expects you to go it alone. In fact, no one recovers alone. You need the support and encouragement of others. Two of your most important support networks are your family and your 12-step groups. Naturally, youâll feel raw and confused when you first begin recovery. Go ahead and ask for help from your loved ones as well as your 12-step sponsor.
Your loved ones already know about your past problems â theyâve lived with them. Of course they want you to move forward in recovery. If you feel reluctant to discuss your fears with them, thatâs understandable. But donât miss out on the opportunity to open the lines of communication at home. Give it some time and bring up the subject when you feel comfortable. Ask for support from your spouse or loved ones.
It may be easier to go first to your 12-step sponsor â once you find one. After all, thatâs what the sponsor is there for, to help support and encourage newcomers like you to recovery. The sponsor has been where you are, felt what youâre feeling, and knows all about how difficult it can be to trust yourself again. The advice and counsel you receive from your 12-step sponsor and fellow group members can make all the difference in the world when youâre learning how to trust yourself again.
Step 4 – Regaining Self-Trust Requires Action
What actions do you take to regain trust in yourself?
Itâs important to note here that the ability to trust yourself again requires that you do something. You canât just sit back and expect or hope that youâll regain your self-trust. It just doesnât happen that way. Self-trust never occurs in a vacuum: it results from actions that you undertake.
Look at regaining trust as a process of self-discovery or rediscovery, as it more appropriately is. Once you possessed some measure of self-trust. You probably didnât think much about it until you lost your self-respect, until you sunk so deep in your substance abuse or other addictive behaviors that you and others doubted your word. Your actions then were anything but trustworthy. But back to regaining the trust you lost in yourself, it can be done. But you do have to make conscious decisions in many areas of your new life in recovery in order to learn how to trust yourself again.
Step 6 – How Do You Know You Trust Yourself Again?
When youâre going along in recovery, doing the things on your daily schedule, crossing off goals on your list, taking care of yourself in the best way you can, how do you know if you really trust yourself again? Thatâs a good question. The truth of the matter is that you probably wonât think about self-trust as a general rule. Itâs not a subjec that springs automatically to mind on a daily basis. Itâs not like getting up, eating breakfast, getting ready for work, going to work, attending 12-step meetings, spending time with the family, or going to bed. Itâs not on your daily schedule. Trust isnât a topic you sit around analyzing for hours on end. Trust, especially trust in yourself, is something that develops over time and results from self-accomplishment of goals and belief in your own abilities to do what you need to do in recovery.
You might go for several months without ever thinking about whether you trust yourself or not. However, the fact that youâll be able to weigh and balance different options and make a decision as to what is right for you in various situations will be evidence that you have begun to trust yourself again. You look at whatâs available to you, sift through the pros and cons of each course of action, and make a determination as to your course of action. And trust, remember, requires action. When you are actively involved in decision-making regarding your recovery, youâre building your reservoir of self-trust.
Other Tips to Learning How To Trust Yourself Again
What other tips do you have?
There are many ways to learn how to trust yourself again. For each individual in recovery, there may be hundreds of things that work or just a significant few. Experiment. Be bold. Take what works and do more of it. Try some things that are new.
Buy or download literature, brochures, pamphlets, FAQs and other resources from the various 12-step groups. Take out books on recovery from the local library. Watch programs that deal with overcoming substance abuse or process addictions. Become as knowledgeable as you can about recovery and realize that thereâs always something new in the field that can prove helpful to you in your journey.
One day, when youâre ready â when youâve been in effective recovery for at least a year â you may wish to consider becoming a 12-step sponsor to another newcomer. When you reach the point where you are able to handle with confidence the challenges and opportunities that come your way with confidence, youâll know that youâve learned how to trust yourself again. Being in recovery doesnât mean that youâll always have all the answers. It does mean that youâll be armed with the tools you need to be able to make the determination about the right thing to do â and then do it.
Recovery is an exciting journey. Itâs all about discovering â and rediscovering â who you are, who you intend to be, and what youâre willing to do to get there. Learning how to trust yourself again is part of the evolotion of the brand-new you.
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Jen from Maryland
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Don’t Forget to Call Recovered About Trusting Yourself
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Interview With Zach G. – Recovered 701
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Well, itâs you Zach
Zach, today we will do the Recovered Podcast a little different. Zach is a regular host on the Recovered Podcast, but today I want our listeners to know you Zach in a more complete way. I want our listeners to be inspired by your story.
So, today Zach, I want you to share with our listeners your story. Your story of challenge, rising to success, then crushing defeat, and then rising again from the ashes to a new story of recovery. Finally, Zach, I want our listeners to know what your latest adventure has been.
Each step we practice includes a recovery principle we need.
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Is this ok with you Zach?
Where were you born, tell us your early story
When did you first drink
When did you first drug
What was that like?
Story of wrestling
How did addiction affect this
How did you end up at hazelden?
Describe rehab?
What was the most important thing you learned in rehab?
How did you put your recovery life back together
How did you put your professional life back togather
How did the tools of recovery help?
What has been the biggest challenge in the latest re-invention of Zach the wrestler?
You recently auditioned for American Ninja Warrior
The action-packed series follows competitors as they tackle a series of challenging obstacle courses in both city qualifying and city finals rounds across the country. Those that successfully complete the finals course in their designated region move on to the national finals round in Las Vegas, where they face a stunning four-stage course modeled after the famed Mt. Midoriyama course in Japan. The winner will take home a grand prize of $1,000,000. Although many have come close, no competitor has yet to achieve total victory and claim the prize.
Tell us about your experience.
What did you learn?
What have you achieved so far?
What do you hope to accomplish by participating?
How can our listeners get in touch with you?
How can our listeners support you?
How can our listeners watch you on TV?
Thank you for joining us in studio
Practicing Principles – Recovered 700
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If we habitually do right things, we change because they become second nature. So we need to practice right things. This is where the 12 steps are our guide and teacher.
The 12 Steps of AA ARE the Principles of the Program that we practice. The principles are listed on Big Book pages 59 and 60 in the form of the 12 steps! Over the years many lists of virtues that correspond to each of the Twelve Steps and their underlying spiritual nature have been published. The origins of these lists are unknown, although they are used by many Twelve step members.
So, this is what we are going to talk about tonight, the principles we practice in recovery
Each step we practice includes a recovery principle we need.
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So here they are:
The AA Principles in the steps
In Step 1, the Principle is Honesty
Step 1 We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol â that our lives had become unmanageable.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
In Step 2, the principle is Hope
Step 2 Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Hope: Step 2 is the mirror image or opposite of step 1. In step 1 we admit
that alcohol is our higher power, and that our lives are unmanageable.
In step 2, we find a different Higher Power who we hope will bring
about a return to sanity in management of our lives.)
In Step 3, the principle is Faith
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Commitment: The key word in step 3 is decision.)
In Step 4, the principle is Courage
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Honesty: an inventory of self.)
In Step 5, the principle is Integrity
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Truth: candid confession to God and another human being.)
In Step 6, the principle is Willingness
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Willingness: choosing to abandon defects of character.)
In Step 7, the principle is Humility
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Humility: standing naked before God, with nothing to hide, and asking that our flaws â in His eyes â be removed.)
In Step 8, the principle is Brotherly Love
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Reflection: who have we harmed? Are we ready to amend?)
In Step 9, the principle is Justice
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Amendment: making direct amends/restitution/correction, etc.)
In Step 10, the principle is Perseverance
Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Vigilance: exercising self-discovery, honesty, abandonment,
humility, reflection and amendment on a momentary, daily, and periodic
basis.)
In Step 11, the principle is Spirituality
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Attunement: becoming as one with our Higher Power.)
In Step 12, the principle is Service
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
How do you practice the principle in this step?
How do you practice this principle in the world?
(Service: awakening into sober usefulness.)
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Kurt
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Marty
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Clyde
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Joe and Charlie History Part 2 – Recovered 699
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Daily Inventory – Recovered 698
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are and what we are doing today.
I try to remember that a daily inventory is not a test;
I try to remember that there are no right or wrong answers.
I try not to get upset when I know I could have done better.
During my daily inventory if I discover that I have failed to live
up to my expectations, I try to remember that this is a program of
growth and recovery, progress not perfection.
I know that if I stayed clean today, I did something right.
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We asked our listeners a question and they responded.
We asked âWhen you do a daily inventory, do you reflect on the good
things you do?â
What percentage of our listeners do you think said yes, I think
about the good stuff I do?
https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/e2t2JO8kZ3zEAQXgGRxFlPEVTSWOIStpZuZqMdd1b44_3D
Do you reflect on the good stuff?
Why is a daily Inventory important?
How is this different/same as Step 10?
How is this different/same as Step 11?
One thing we should consider during a daily inventory are the
major events of the day. Why?
Feelings (good and bad) that come up during the course of the
day and how i dealt with them are important and worthy of review.
Why?
Minding my own business is important in my recovery and should
be part of my reflection. Why?
I make mistakes during the day and acceptance is part of this.
Why?
Talk about fear and faith in daily inventories.
Talk about the relationship between wrongs done, pride and
fear.
Why is avoiding conflict bad? How can that upset recovery?
Talk about when to make amends and when not to?
have i done something difficult or particularly well today? how
can i appreciate myself for it?
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Nic
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Clyde
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Tony
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