recovery

Why Believe in a Higher Power?

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So it seems that my higher power does not will tragedy, nor does he ordinarily step in to miraculously stop tragedy. So then, why believe?

I’ve come to understand that God inspires other people to walk with those who are on a tragic path. To save them from the dangers of being judged, abandoned, feeling alone, etc. the famous saying, “human beings are God’s language” seems true to me today.
The longer I travel on the spiritual journey called life, I find myself taking comfort in very traditional understandings of the spiritual life. I guess that’s not so surprising, since they’ve traveled this road before. 

Answered Prayer

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So, why do we pray? Is it to beg for the things I need or want? And if I don’t receive those gifts I prayed for, does that mean that God didn’t listen or doesn’t care? What does it mean when something bad happens, and a whole community gathers and prays fervently for a miracle that doesn’t happen? The miracle doesn’t occur even though constant prayer vigils are made at the bedside….death still has the last word. Where was God? Did he not care? Why was he so passive.

Passive, hardly, he was busy bringing people together to show support to let the afflicted know that they do not suffer alone. God was busy at the bedside to walk alongside so that entry into the next world is done with support and not alone.

Thoughts From The North

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I wanted to take the opportunity to express my gratitude for the success of the 12 hour podcast. What started out a a vague idea turned into a project with real tangeble outcomes. Through your generous contributions, we will be able assist at least 6 clients through the detox process at Dawn Farm’s Spera Program. Anna and I will be taking some much needed rest from the emotional roller coaster of the celebration of Andrew’s 27th birthday. We are retreating to a one bedroom cottage located on a large lake in the norther part of the lower peninsula of Michigan. The plan is to do……,nothing. So, my thoughts in the aftermath of the 12 hour podcast? God has answered all our prayers, he did not prevent Andrew’s death but he has given us the tools to cope, mainly you. You thoughts, concerns, words of encouragement, and donations have given is the ability to carry on, just for today. I don’t know about tomorrow, so I’ll continue to pray and to honor Andrew in everything we do at Tecovered.

Relapse Show Notes – Recovered 397

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Mark, Aaron, and Spencer discuss the Recovery Topic of Relapse.  Aaron and Mark shared that they have not relapsed since they began their time in the fellowship.  Spencer, an Al-Anon, shared that he has experienced relapse in terms that his loved-one has relapsed before.  Spencer shared that when he experienced his loved-one’s relapse, he fell back on old ways in terms of trying to control the situation.  Spencer also shared that he never saw any of the signs of relapse and his denial prevented him from seeing clearly. Spencer shared that he also was over confident in terms of his loved one’s sobriety.  Spencer eventually started to work his Al-anon program by going to more meetings.

Aaron shared that he never really tried to get sober before he came to the program.  Mark shared about his experience with over confidence in recovery.  Over confidence led him into a situation where he thought about drinking, but he called his sponsor first.  Mark learned a valuable lesson, stay accountable and always beware that relapse is only a sip away.  Aaron shared that when a friend relapses and returns to the fellowship, he notices that regret and shame is such a big part of their early re-recovery.

Spencer shared that when his loved-ones relapsed, he had to learn how to manage his craving to control the other person’s behavior.  Mark shared from the Big Book on page 34.  The lesson is to never get to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, nor Tired (HALT).

Making 12 Step Calls – Recovered 396

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Mark, Aaron, and Russ discussed making 12-step calls and doing 12-step work.  Russ opens the show by explaining a 12-step call.  Russ said a 12-step call is when someone who is mired in the disease of alcoholism calls into a hotline and asks for help.  The hotline then will send someone to go out to the one who called and talk to the person who asked for help.  Usually the program is explained and then the object is to go to a meeting.

Aaron said that he never called a hotline for help.  Aaron explained that he Goggled “Alcoholics Anonymous” and found clubs and meeting times.  The internet is now a common place to be 12-stepped.  Aaron knew he needed AA just because of the reputation of AA and how people talked about it.

Mark shared that AA was a possibility for hope because of his son who was the first one in the family who became a member.  6 months after his son entered the fellowship, Mark entered too.  After Mark’s first meeting, he was asked if he would like someone to visit him in his home to explain the program.  Mark’s wife was actually the first in the family to go to an AA meeting through her education as a psychologist   As part of an assignment in her graduate work, she was required to attend an AA meeting.  Mark explained that his first sponsor, Jeff, visited him and 12-stepped him.  Jeff simply told Mark his drinking story all the way up to his first AA meeting.

Russ explained that the object of a 12-step call is to get the person to a meeting.  Aaron explained that the 12-steps were first explained to him at meetings.  When a newcomer is at a meeting, the meeting is now a 12-step call.  The program should be explained and any burning desires by others should be tabled until the next meeting.  Russ said anybody is qualified to make a 12-step call, but they should not go alone.  The reason is because there may be a temptation to drink if you go alone.  Also, the situation could be dangerous so they should not go alone.

Recovered 389 Show Notes – Gratitude

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Mark, Joe, Spencer, and Russ share their gratitude during this U.S. Holiday season of Thanksgiving. Russ and Mark both agree that Gratitude is one of the most important tools in their tool box of recovery. Joe shared that one of the first things he learned in recovery was Gratitude. Joe shared that early in his program he heard Mike O. always opened his share with the statement, “If I stay grateful, I’ll stay sober.” Joe shared that if he admits that many things are out of his control, this realization helps him to stay grateful. Joe shared that he uses pen and paper to form his gratitude list. He makes a physical list and he still has the first one he made in recovery. The things that are on that original list, he is still grateful for.

Spencer, an Al-anon, was not grateful when he first came into the program, although he heard a lot of others say they were. But now, he is grateful to be a member of Al-anon. Spencer shared his gratitude tool takes the form of a mental list. When he has difficulty falling asleep, he uses that alphabet starting with the letter A and thinks of something he is grateful for that begins with the letter A. Spencer said that he has always fallen asleep before he reaches the letter Z.

Russ shared that he also uses an alphabet approach to his gratitude list, especially when he is driving his car. Russ shared that he uses meetings to keep gratitude alive in his program. Talking and sharing helps him to stay grounded and stay grateful.

We shared that gratitude is the result of something we do. When we start to feel down during this holiday season, we have found that making a list, going to a meeting, talking to someone, always helps us to stay grateful and our spirits are lifted.

Recovered 388 Show Notes – Dating in Recovery

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This week, three single guys talk about dating in recovery.  Mark talks with Joe, Aaron, and Chris about their experience, strength, and hope regarding dating in recovery.

Joe started by sharing that he was in relationship when he first came into the program.  Initially, the fact that Joe was sober helped their relationship. Unlike other women that Joe had dated before recovery, this woman didn’t drink much.  After about a year of being sober, they decided to part ways.  One of the reasons was that the fellowship took a lot of Joe’s attention.

Aaron came into the fellowship “single” and was terrified of the thought of dating in sobriety.  The main reason for this fear was that Aaron thought that everybody drank and he just didn’t want to be around drinking people early on.  After a little bit of time, Aaron realized that most people don’t drink like he used to.  The first person he dated was not in the fellowship and was a very light drinker.  Aaron didn’t think it to be appropriate or “ethical”  to date new people in the fellowship.

When Chris came into the program, Chris was married.  Initially, the program helped his marriage and she was supportive of his involvement in the fellowship.  However, Chris did stay at home with the kids for functions that included drinking when they would have gone as a couple.

Joe along with Aaron shared their reservations of dating people inside the fellowship; mainly because of their observations that it doesn’t work very well.  Joe shared about fear of dating someone who may relapse during the relationship. The panel also shared about the suggested “no relationships for a year” rule.

Alex and Russ called in.
Helen contributed with an email.

Recovered 388 Preview

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This week, Joe, Aaron, and Chris will discuss dating while in recovery.  They will discuss what their initial thoughts and fears were when they first came into the program and they will discuss what it is like now.  We will also discuss dating inside and outside the fellowship and the pluses and minuses of both options.

Please call into our voice mail system at 734-288-7510 and ask a question regarding dating in recovery.  If you don’t want to use your voice, please a comment on the blog or email us at feedback@recoveredcast.com and we will discuss it on Thursday’s show.

Hey, don’t forget to vote everyday at podcastawards.com for this podcast Recovered for the best in the Health/Fitness category.  Thanks, we are trying to arrange for one of our hosts to go to Las Vegas for the Awards Ceremony.

Recovered 382 Show Notes – Hitting Bottom

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Mark, Joe, Spencer, and Russ discuss our recovery topic: Hitting Bottom
Hitting Bottom is that moment when life has become so painful that recovery is made possible.

During the Interview Segment, we talked to Bob, Kyle, and Liz about the Recovery Topic: Hitting Bottom

Helen Sponsored our show tonight by making a generous contribution to the show by using the paypal donation button on the site.  THANK YOU HELEN! Helen, an Al-Anon, also emailed us and we shared her thoughts.

Lisa from Illinois called in and let us know she nominated this podcast as best in Life and Fitness for the annual Podcast Awards.  You can do this too at

Podcast Awards

Lisa shared her thoughts regarding last week’s topic: expectations.  Thank you Lisa.

Regarding our recovery topic, Joe started the show off by telling us about his one year long approach to his bottom.  The decline began with a failed suicide attempt, a secrete he kept until doing his 5th step.

Spencer, an Al-Anon, shared that Al-anons also have bottoms which helps them to reach out for help.  Spencer described his bottom in terms of when his loved one confessed to him that they didn’t think they could live sober.  The realization that his loved one may not get recovery lead to a feeling of despair and loneliness, similar feelings as Joe shared.

Russ shared that he could relate to both Joe and Spencer’s stories.  Russ has a moment of clarity when he read his Physician’s medical notes and the said that Russ was a CHRONIC alcoholic.  That category gave him a moment of pause that lead him to recovery.

Recovered 380 Show Notes – Discipline

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Mark, Russ, Spencer, and Joe discuss the Recovery Topic Discipline.

We interviewed:
Jillian S.
Elaine C.
Dan
Russ shared his vision of being disciplined by contrasting his being undisciplined when he first came into the program.  As a matter of fact, his lack of discipline was a major reason for his coming to the tables.  Russ’ first effort at discipline was to make 90 meetings in 90 days, which he accomplished.  Russ did this as a pain avoidance mechanism.
Spencer shared from his Al-Anon perspective.  Spencer came into the program to get relief from the pain caused by other people’s drinking.  His first act of discipline was to make meetings which was followed by a commitment to a group to work the steps with his AWOL (A Way Of Live) group.  Making a commitment to a group helped keep him accountable and helped him finish what he started.
Joe shared that he come into the program undisciplined.  Joe was happy to hear the slogan “let it go” at first but then learned that discipline was needed to work the steps, get involved in the program, and to become part of the group.