Recovered
Friends…
Today is the anniversary of Andrew’s death, so if you could say a prayer for us today, know that it would be most appreciated.
Thank you so much for all your support and love. Please know that we keep all of you in our prayers and love you all back so much.
Peace.
Nancy Burks grew up in southeast Michigan and pursued a career as a clinical psychologist until retiring two years ago. Since then, Nancy has started a new phase of her life teaching Buddhism and meditation. Nancy became a Buddhist in 1978, and has practiced in the
Tibetan Buddhist tradition
ever since. From 1996 to 2000, Nancy participated in an intensive, cloistered retreat with 9 other women in upstate New York. Upon completing this traditional training program, she earned the title of “Lama” which means teacher. Nancy currently teaches and practices at the Ann Arbor KTC Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center. just go to
http://annarborktc.org
For more information
That link will be in the show notes
Nancy lives in Ann Arbor with her husband, and is a caregiver for for her mother and brother.
Nancy welcome to the Recovered Studio
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As you know Nancy, the Recovered Podcast is intended to be a support for those of us in 12-step recovery program.
Do you know anyone who had struggled with addiction?
As you may know, one of the obstacles new members in 12-step recovery programs have is developing a spiritual life. We encourage new members to consider that there are powers greater than self and that this power can help in sobriety. Later, we find that helps is all areas of our lives.
For example Nancy, many of our new members find their “Higher Power” in the 12-step group.
Through frequent contact with members in the 12-step community, new people find the ability to stay sober. This ability to stay sober was not possible before the group. This, we tell our new members, is a power greater than self.
Another source of “higher power” can be found in the truth. Truth itself and in others. For example, when we honestly look at ourselves and our faults and stop blaming others, we find that changing our behavior is possible. Something that was not possible before.
But when new members are told to get a higher power, the immediately think of the punishing God they grew up with, or maybe the religion of their youth. And for many, these have been terrible experiences and they want no part of that. They feel like they have been painted into a corner with no way out.
But what we encourage is for the new person to seek for themselves what a higher power means to them. There is not only one way, there are many.
Many of us in the United States have no understanding of buddhism. So I wanted to get your perspective Nancy, because you have so much to offer our listeners in regards to life experiences, psychology, and buddhism.
So our listeners get to know you a little better, let’s start at the beginning.
Your Story
Tell us where were you born; what was your family of origin like.
What were your religious experiences growing up?
Many of our listeners may not be familiar with Buddhism
Tell us your experience in Budism, how did you become buddhist.
What common feature does Buddhism share with other religions?
What is the difference between Buddhism and other religions?
Give us a brief history of the Buddha.
What is the essential characteristic of Buddhism?
How has buddhism helped you in difficult times?
Advice
What was the #1 thing that has held you back in your spiritual life?
What is the best spiritual advice you ever received?
What is something that is working for your spiritual life right now?
What is the best spiritual book you have read?
Hope
What would you say to the new guy?
Read books by Chogyam trungpa
Meditation in action
Cutting through spiritual materialism
Other Books
Pema Chodron – Start Where You Are, When Things Fall Apart
Jon Kabat-Zinn – Full Catastrophe Living
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The definition of Unmanageable is
1. Difficult or impossible to manage or control:
2. Difficult to carry or maneuver; unwieldy:
When we deny our powerlessness over alcohol our lives become unmanageable. Our lives may be unmanageable in a few areas or in many areas. They may be slightly unmanageable in some areas and totally unmanageable in others. Unmanageability caused by addiction take many forms. It can include physical, spiritual, and mental problems; financial and legal problems; family and social problems. The problems may have been obvious to others or known only to us, but they were
in one form or another.
The longer I am in recovery, the more I realize how unmanageable my life had become. By accepting my powerlessness and unmanageability, I accept that I can not recover alone. I need help. That help,
the Big Book tells me in the Second Step,
will come from a Power greater than myself. My unmanageability lays the basis of my willingness to open and keep myself open to a Power greater than myself and to recovery.
Use of the plural pronoun in the First Step, “We admitted,” emphasizes that we are not alone and that we do not work our recovery program alone. AA is a “we” program. “I get drunk; we stay sober: is an old AA saying. The “we” includes us, other program members, and our Higher Power. The first word in the First Step makes that point clear.
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Survey says:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/J5f9Lbn_2FOnk1_2BlLPJRK_2FZV3nHbzPSf1es3uyCqMJ6hY_3D
What does unmanageability mean to you?
How did alcohol and unmanageability relate for you?
Alcohol stole time it stole the future
How does alcohol and unmanageability relate for you today?
As soon as I reject reality and try to create a situation that I desire, life becomes unmanageable for me. If I wish to change the past instead of accepting, life becomes unmanageable
How does control and unmanageability relate for you?
How did you use to be unmanageable?
How are you unmanageable today?
What tools do you use?
Who was in control when you grew up?
How did that affect you?
How does that affect you now?
How do you try to control the emotions, finances, lives of others?
How do expectations and unmanageability relate?
How does flexibility and unmanageability relate?
How does your higher power and unmanageability relate?
How does patience help?
How does acceptance help?
We have calls
OIllie
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Erika From Boston
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DgozDUnfddLCF1EEoEphLA0MWrWR3d2oHcUB0aSl8Z5i0yF2NKBLy_EKiwMTKuWHQJOSei1JtjYJ0HOCTAH4ZhXpqYII1w6oOlrjds29DUInvZIrfakpd6tV_JEFTIOKIjINoNjbn9xyCHjFPGaRZNxsvdvA
Bronte
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Alex
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CQllxdClvtMWg-Pr94CzAL4dONMJP9nATd3qUB0mbPuCDRq4unP2X7j6C7T63RQtmjQzjbJxeHR_ghw3IBXSmXa1CYv4i2bsGL9wphFztqFy62fU825-6_L1tuRIB2c1Z4MLBJESdp-Ap6TJEb2uqN_dL-Bw
Our Topic on Tuesday, June 28, 2016 will be “Unmanageability.”
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“Reading recovery literature is another important tool of the program. It helps to educate, motivate, and inspire us. Reading recovery literature helps us learn how to stay sober and work a recovery program specifically tailored for us.” This does however assume you are literate and sighted, which is not always the case.
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How about you?
When you were new, what were you told to read?
How was it effective?
How did you use recovery literature, what were your routines?
What were some of your favorite titles when you were new?
What websites, blogs, or podcasts do you use in your recovery?
Twitter
Facebook
Intherooms.com
Daily AA emails
Share some of your experiences
Some of my books I have read
Big Book
Big Book Commentary by Frank Dwyer
12 and 12
Daily Meditations
24 Hours a Day
How Alanon Works
Blueprint for Progress
Courage to Change
A New Pair of Glasses
Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers
As Bill Sees it
Drop the Rock
The Golden Key
Three scriptures foundational according to Dr. Bob
The Sermon on the Mount
The Book of James
1 Cor 13
Ever thought about the fact that the programs assumes you can read?
I knew a guy who was illiterate in the program
In aa we have a tradition where the introduction to the meeting includes readings from approved literature and is shared by different members
Ken could never participate in this
He couldn’t read the Big Book. But Ken could pray
He might be the most spiritual person I knew.
We Have Calls
Cristie
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages
Hannah
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages
Clyde
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BjfkvOhB1_RRNu476hxlMboJnPL9NWX1eub4ZznEpJT4LmHRFIoMECp1T1TlFc-870R_Nf-J9Zhcj8tkHDAyyCx0oOJ3jG7kkg2e5OXqgV3d0R2b7cHN5kD4NQ446dwp0eIOx6Z02MLFbrD5_6Pw_oFkUuXw
Russ
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Mandy
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Kurt
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AWi_U7nIgt4Os0TaiM6U4pcKUAhH4IZ12XRpFyTAH-l84uQwt6pv0mMa32aE0BNnCupEDsDcOdIMUE0AHTSE4XlZQ_gONIGMbVyukS4E__BNT83kNs5QlcEdZq0_Nr3LmHPrFMgMytHspop05eyvwY80-mAg
Alex
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_BbtkONp1p5_HVsXFdmIVQvKdAFqtB0HKddudUsKb-XgYMfoK9WDsoRwuV_y1xg-_wIovHCWIA2BzHisdnVkYo_TXiMBjPbIBpgtIcCi4Ybh1rI2XlD6N-i29xP0h20UUHEvjoQX9440H1_SYaKpmkES6Zlew
What would you say to the new guy?
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We people who manage to escape addiction did so by taking responsibility for our own plight. When abusing substances we may have had plenty of justifications that absolved our accountability, but such irrational thinking cannot follow us into sobriety. Recovery begins when we take responsibility for our situation and decide to improve things.
Responsibility Defined
The word responsibility means an individual who has a moral, legal, or mental accountability for something. It means that people are answerable for any act performed, and its consequences. Responsibility is based on the idea that humans are capable of making choices, and therefore they should be responsible for these choices.
This means that if there are negative consequences for some action by an individual they should be prepared to be accountable for this.
In previous generations it was assumed that people fell into addiction because they were just bad people. The disease theory of addiction became popular during the middle of the last century, and this puts forward the idea that the addict is not fully to blame for their situation. They have a brain disease,
and it is this that drives the addiction. This would imply that the addict is no more responsible for their condition than the diabetic.
While many would agree that the individual is not responsible for falling into addiction they certainly have a responsibility to get themselves out of this situation. Nobody else can do this for them so if they fail to take responsibility they are doomed to an unpleasant ending.
Some individuals use the disease theory as justification for their failure to escape addiction, but this argument is not valid at all. If people choose to continue to abuse alcohol and drugs they are fully responsible for the outcome.
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What was your initial reaction when you heard that Recovery is My Responsibility was going to be the topic?
Where do you want to start?
Before drugs and alcohol, were you a responsible person?
How were you irresponsible when you started using?
Why did you become irresponsible?
What were some of the consequences of being irresponsible?
How did it affect your relationships with family, friends, higher power, employer, self?
When you first came into program, did you have unrealistic expectations of the fellowship to get you sober? Explain?
How did you come to the realization that your recovery is your responsibility?
What does Recovery is My Responsibility mean to you today?
Why is being responsible for your own recovery important to you?
How did you learn to be more responsible?
What steps, service work, prayer, slogan, sponsor advice, etc. helped?
We Have Calls
Celeste
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Erika
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_C7eeJLY503Gg-51v2DHEndPk60hz0p2KPdCb2zrDxGbNS2-fVWi6wWNdTf4BhOomFeoLYLZudItc3RdMvYdBULDWAawUMCN_aVHEDsIW_xQYFQSCJ01RLcAVxJr9uuXHZZJ7AiqMuwmGAy4Q3xBEwQlZJIdQ
Joey
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DK6dRlRhgd42ubkGgVAFErf6U0_WQKZpG61_a6LQzu8qj3q1QwJt4oUunQ8H-55rUY3xSdRCsM4H8hJgKDO-XbD1ws_7JpZuR5WgsAD5AmKolJE9Ijq-XXi97fBBRopv8dBkLrx25e1km1v64m4D1xzWnq1w
Anonymous
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What would you say to the new guy?