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Introduction
Kurt….
I had the privilege to meet you relatively recently
I think I first met you you at Gregg and chrissy’s house last year
You are Russ’ sponsor, right?
Since then, the three of us have tried to get together on a monthly basis and I use you guys as a sort of steering committee for this show.

For this I am grateful for your wisdom and insight.

Let’s start where we always start.
Kurt, what is your sobriety date?
Who is your sponsor?
Where is your homegroup?

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Your Story
Tell us where were you born and your family of origin.
What were your religious experiences?
Tell us your early story up until your bottom
Describe your bottom and early recovery.
Describe how you worked the steps.
What did you learn?
Tell us one amends story.
When was the obsession to drink removed?
Have you had a spiritual experience?
Describe how you work your program today.

Trauma and its Effects on Disease/Recovery
Have you had trauma(s) in your life?
How did that (they) affect your disease?
How did it affect your program?
How does it affect you today?

Advice
What was the #1 thing that was holding you back from entering recovery?
What is the best recovery advice you ever received?
What is something that is working for your recovery program right now?
Beside the Big Book, what is the best recovery book you have read?

Hope
What would you say to the new guy?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

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“The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.” [1]

“Grouch” is not the name of a Sesame Street puppet. It means a “fit of temper.” [2]

Today, a brainstorming is generally considered by normal people to be a bunch of people creatively bouncing brilliant ideas off each other. Back in 1938 when the Big Book was written, a brainstorm was considered to be “an outburst of passion or agitation so violent as temporarily to deprive one of reason”.[3]

Psychologists will tell us that Violent temperament and agitation cuts us off from our access to sound reasoning. Agitation can also hinder our spiritual connections. So, if a brainstorm is a Spiritual sickness coupled with loss of intellectual reasoning, it is no wonder life becomes unmanageable and we feel adrift.

Sometimes, Life brings us to a place where we experience cruelty or injustice caused by people, places, and things. How I can determine how healthy I am in my spiritual life is by how I respond to those who disturb me.

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When you first learned of this topic, what did you first think? Where would like to begin with this topic?

What does “the Grouch” mean to you?
What does the “brainstorm” mean to you?
Why are they bad for you?

This part of the big book focuses on
Resentments

When I first came into the program, I was told that looking at my resentments could be a journey of self discovery. It could be a key to lasting sobriety.
I had no idea what this meant.
I just knew I was pissed, jealous, and a victim.

How was talking about resentments helpful?
What about you?

When you first came in, what were some of your resentments?

Resentment means to re-live a past injury,
To cultivate this memory, to protect it.
What are your thoughts about this definition?

How can let go and let God help?

What are your thoughts about resentments leading to self-pity?
Has this happened to you?
What was the effect?
Where does self pity lead you?

What are your thoughts about the relationship between resentment and humility?
How is humility the cure for resentments?
How does this relate to Step 7?

When you were new, who did you think was to blame for these resentments?

What were your thoughts that you are the one who may be the cause of your resentment.
That maybe you got the ball rolling?

When dealing with resentments now, what tools do you use?
What steps help?
How do meetings help?
How is a sponsor helpful?
We have calls! Want to take them?

Phone calls

Nick from South Austrailia
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Cristie
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AcIBDokj7Ikg443ox2vjXzJ6Wqzj_WDwET5M-8rLm0l8tP9S-LcMi-NfM8AlFPH7g7cHX8VcKbMWHWBJXoOB81HZ0tNfLbhC0K65ZR9USkNM_t6A3M0Vxj-Bt4fMql8fsBI8nSIskEPlAb4Q7cCW7w5ZWrKg

Joey
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_CJXmbBCuE8s-Y-UFCgUmKUkxx5srSkiS-aEeoDo1aMKZovZwWBmoZXrEwaD7de2PEJUyl_i7S1CI3jBTgYGbiY_wv3OXZlyhRsG1rgBpV6g3kTd7Ve54hv-pqAQQClYgqB8tmh4S-s7xOr30qDNdFXfuMelw

What would you say to the new guy?

Check out this episode!

Call us at 1-734-288-7510 or tap Speakpipe

Join the Chat Room, Tap Live stream and Chat Room

email at mark@recoveredcast.com

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

Check out this episode!

Call us at 1-734-288-7510 or tap Speakpipe

Join the Chat Room, Tap Live stream and Chat Room

email at mark@recoveredcast.com

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

Check out this episode!

Starting out our new life in recovery involves taking chances, making decisions that can be life-altering, trying out healthier behaviors and working the 12-steps to firmly ground ourselves in sobriety. It’s an incredible undertaking, a journey that is ongoing. We are never done with recovery. We are at it forever, one day at a time.

What about being able to trust yourself to do the right thing? Well, since most individuals in recovery have a difficult time with this, let’s talk about learning how to trust yourself again.

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Step 1 – Start With a Clean Slate

When you came in, did your slate need cleaning?
What is your experience with this?
How do you “drop the rock”?
How do you forget the past?
How do you focus on the positive?

NOTES
First and foremost, there’s no point in carrying a lot of baggage from the past now that you’re in recovery. Having gone through treatment and made the decision to live your life clean and sober, you have a new chapter in front of you. Forget about the mistakes that you made in the past. You are not your past. It doesn’t define you or dictate your future. Only you can do that, and you’ve already decided that you’re going to live to the fullest of your ability and be in effective long-term recovery.

Starting off with this clean slate will make it easier to concentrate on healing and growing more self-confident. As your self-confidence increases, you’ll find that making decisions becomes a little easier as well.

Step 2 – Build Upon Your Successes

What does this mean to you?
How can this help?
Do you have experience with this?
How do you do this?
How do you “remember” your successes?

When you’re just starting recovery, there’s so much to do all at once. The tendency is to either go gung-ho and try to do it all or sink back on the couch in despair because you don’t think you can tackle all that you feel you need to do. The key thing here is to embrace recovery and work it slowly, thoughtfully each day. When you experience a success – such as your first week of sobriety, first month, and so on – think of this as a building block. One successful achievement leads to another and another and so on.

Successes can be anything that you deem important. It could be that you’re finally able to have a meaningful conversation about your newly-won sobriety with your spouse or that you’ve worked out a realignment of your workload with your supervisor to accommodate your attendance at 12-step meetings and gradually ramping up you job responsibilities. It could be successfully overcoming cravings by using the coping mechanisms you learned during treatment. Perhaps you find that being able to go to work each day is a success – especially if you had great difficulties with this prior to treatment.
However you define success, when you achieve it, build upon it. You will be making it easier to learn how to trust yourself again.

Step 3 – Ask for Help

When you were new, was this difficult? Why?
How did you do it early on?
Do you ask for help now?
Why is this important?
Who do you ask for help?

No one expects you to go it alone. In fact, no one recovers alone. You need the support and encouragement of others. Two of your most important support networks are your family and your 12-step groups. Naturally, you’ll feel raw and confused when you first begin recovery. Go ahead and ask for help from your loved ones as well as your 12-step sponsor.
Your loved ones already know about your past problems – they’ve lived with them. Of course they want you to move forward in recovery. If you feel reluctant to discuss your fears with them, that’s understandable. But don’t miss out on the opportunity to open the lines of communication at home. Give it some time and bring up the subject when you feel comfortable. Ask for support from your spouse or loved ones.

It may be easier to go first to your 12-step sponsor – once you find one. After all, that’s what the sponsor is there for, to help support and encourage newcomers like you to recovery. The sponsor has been where you are, felt what you’re feeling, and knows all about how difficult it can be to trust yourself again. The advice and counsel you receive from your 12-step sponsor and fellow group members can make all the difference in the world when you’re learning how to trust yourself again.

Step 4 – Regaining Self-Trust Requires Action

What actions do you take to regain trust in yourself?

It’s important to note here that the ability to trust yourself again requires that you do something. You can’t just sit back and expect or hope that you’ll regain your self-trust. It just doesn’t happen that way. Self-trust never occurs in a vacuum: it results from actions that you undertake.

Look at regaining trust as a process of self-discovery or rediscovery, as it more appropriately is. Once you possessed some measure of self-trust. You probably didn’t think much about it until you lost your self-respect, until you sunk so deep in your substance abuse or other addictive behaviors that you and others doubted your word. Your actions then were anything but trustworthy. But back to regaining the trust you lost in yourself, it can be done. But you do have to make conscious decisions in many areas of your new life in recovery in order to learn how to trust yourself again.

Step 6 – How Do You Know You Trust Yourself Again?

When you’re going along in recovery, doing the things on your daily schedule, crossing off goals on your list, taking care of yourself in the best way you can, how do you know if you really trust yourself again? That’s a good question. The truth of the matter is that you probably won’t think about self-trust as a general rule. It’s not a subjec that springs automatically to mind on a daily basis. It’s not like getting up, eating breakfast, getting ready for work, going to work, attending 12-step meetings, spending time with the family, or going to bed. It’s not on your daily schedule. Trust isn’t a topic you sit around analyzing for hours on end. Trust, especially trust in yourself, is something that develops over time and results from self-accomplishment of goals and belief in your own abilities to do what you need to do in recovery.

You might go for several months without ever thinking about whether you trust yourself or not. However, the fact that you’ll be able to weigh and balance different options and make a decision as to what is right for you in various situations will be evidence that you have begun to trust yourself again. You look at what’s available to you, sift through the pros and cons of each course of action, and make a determination as to your course of action. And trust, remember, requires action. When you are actively involved in decision-making regarding your recovery, you’re building your reservoir of self-trust.

Other Tips to Learning How To Trust Yourself Again
What other tips do you have?

There are many ways to learn how to trust yourself again. For each individual in recovery, there may be hundreds of things that work or just a significant few. Experiment. Be bold. Take what works and do more of it. Try some things that are new.
Buy or download literature, brochures, pamphlets, FAQs and other resources from the various 12-step groups. Take out books on recovery from the local library. Watch programs that deal with overcoming substance abuse or process addictions. Become as knowledgeable as you can about recovery and realize that there’s always something new in the field that can prove helpful to you in your journey.

One day, when you’re ready – when you’ve been in effective recovery for at least a year – you may wish to consider becoming a 12-step sponsor to another newcomer. When you reach the point where you are able to handle with confidence the challenges and opportunities that come your way with confidence, you’ll know that you’ve learned how to trust yourself again. Being in recovery doesn’t mean that you’ll always have all the answers. It does mean that you’ll be armed with the tools you need to be able to make the determination about the right thing to do – and then do it.
Recovery is an exciting journey. It’s all about discovering – and rediscovering – who you are, who you intend to be, and what you’re willing to do to get there. Learning how to trust yourself again is part of the evolotion of the brand-new you.

We have calls

Ollie
https://www.speakpipe.com/messages

Jen from Maryland
https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_Cf7LdJ095S1uviryq9EHIz_2hJ-8Y4V6OffvT2xePBflu1kTr_nJjI19SR6Ecv5oIMXmng_mjOyjbPIxi-cpPaieea7JCU9VUBJ7PjLRoYMXfieZCLn1Fzlb5QgThcTAyXCXBKIC9PS7vvMwiwwG5aLcxdOw

What would you say to the new guy?

What would you say to the new guy about this topic?

Check out this episode!